


home

by hanjisung_marryme



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: ? - Freeform, ? but not very graphic, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cat Hybrid Lee Minho | Lee Know, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Gen, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, Headspace, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrids, Lee Minho | Lee Know-centric, M/M, OT8, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Sad Lee Minho | Lee Know, Sleepy Cuddles, Slow Burn, chanlix just living their best life, it's not too graphic, it’s not really either of those idk, minho goes into subspace, minho is jisungs baby, or littlespace, overuse of the word baby, protective han jisung, some sexual content but no smut, stray kids take care of minho, this is honestly just so soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:34:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 29,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29487588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanjisung_marryme/pseuds/hanjisung_marryme
Summary: minho hides being a hybrid from the other members in fear of being kicked out of stray kids. this affects him pretty badly mentally and physically. especially now that they're preparing for another comeback.he’s too scared to reach out for help because of some things that had happened in his past.can the others help him before something happens?i suck at summaries, the story is probably better than it sounds
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Minho | Lee Know & Stray Kids Ensemble, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Everyone
Comments: 96
Kudos: 324





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> in this world hybrids exist. some hybrids are able to switch fully between animal and human, but most look mostly human except some animal like features. it is possible for them to hide these features by making them momentarily disappear, but it's heavily adviced against because it can cause issues with mental and physical health (migraines; depression) especially when done for too long.
> 
> this is my first work so i think my writing might be pretty bad,, also i'm hoping to update as soon as possible but i'm pretty bad at writing. i do however already have the next chapter planned out so i'll try my best

waking up that day made minho wish he didn’t. as soon as he opened his eyes, he could practically taste it on his tongue. that, and the splitting headache.  
he also just felt like he hadn’t slept in days, which didn’t make any sense, considering the 8 hours he had gotten just this night alone.   
looking at his phone he noticed it already being way later than he thought. meaning: he had maybe 15 minutes to get ready so they could all leave for dance practice.  
he knew he couldn’t drag the other’s down, who were all just as stressed as he was – if not more, knowing how much chan had been working again, now with their next comeback right around the corner. 

dance practice – as expected – was horrible. he usually was the one to get the choreo down first but somehow today he just kept messing up.  
he knew this must be irritating the other members. he could see jeongin tensing his jaw whenever he would almost trip over his own feet. hyunjin’s frown would grow deeper every time he fell out of formation.  
but no one said anything.  
not until he stumbled and almost made felix fall.

“what the fuck is wrong with you today, minho?!” almost a screech, ringing high in his ears. he felt too disoriented to pinpoint who it came from.   
“we’re all fucking tired but you’re the only letting yourself slack off. it’s fucking ridiculous. the entire day we’ve been here! mistakes! you can’t get anything right. can’t you try harder?!” that was definitely hyunjin this time.

“sorry” he managed to mumble, but no one seemed to have heard him, or they just didn’t pay it any mind.   
“hey it’s okay, nothing happened guys. calm down” felix tried, giving the others a small smile.  
“nothing happened? lixie, he could have made you really hurt yourself. this isn’t just a silly little mess up! what if you had fallen and, I don’t know, twisted your ankle? then you wouldn’t be able to participate during promotions!” 

felix knew changbin was right, but minho didn’t mean to. looking over to minho he saw the older boy looking at his feet, head hung low as not to look at the others.   
he wanted to say something. anything to him to tell him he doesn’t need to feel bad, but before he could jisung embraced him in a hug, hyunjin still yelling at minho to be more careful.  
finally, chan managed to calm everyone down, “c’mon boys, maybe it’s time we head home.”  
as they made their way back home, minho couldn’t help the ashamed blush from decorating his blush, letting his head hang low.

once chan unlocks the front door of their dorm, minho heads straight to the bathroom, locking himself in there. finally feeling like he could breathe.   
he let out a sigh of relieve when two fluffy cat ears appeared on his head, already draining some of the pressure beneath his skull.   
looking at his reflection he almost didn’t recognize the person standing there.  
not that he looked any different. maybe it was more that he wished this wasn’t him.  
a hybrid. neither fully animal nor human. cursed to exist in this world that wasn’t designed for them.

and look at him. his members didn’t even know about his pitiful existence as a hybrid but still hated him. even without burdening them with his secret he still manages to make their life more miserable.  
he takes a shaky breath before getting ready to take a shower, after which he would finally be able to head to bed and fucking sleep. god knows he needs it.  
before stepping out into the hallway, he made sure to hide his ears again. something all hybrids are able to do, but something heavily advised against, especially for longer periods of time. but minho didn’t really have much of a choice.

while in recent years laws had been established to protect hybrids against discrimination – finally announcing them equal to “normal” humans – it didn’t mean companies wouldn’t find a way around it to refuse hybrids work. and it definitely didn’t stop people from mistreating them regardless. the now rather small scar on minho’s left cheek always serving as a reminder to him.

when he entered jisung and his’ shared room he immediately took notice of the glaringly obvious lack of JISUNG on the bed across his own before remembering the younger mentioning something about a sleepover with hyunjin the morning before.  
as much as he didn’t want to admit it, the presence of the younger made him feel safe and protected, something he craved after a day like this.   
but after all it was his fault so who was he to ask for something like that.

minho couldn’t fall asleep until late at night and once he did he was soon awoken again by memories from his past. old faces. their screams ringing in his ears. shakily he went to the other side of the room to search for comfort in jisungs warmth only to be met with a cold bed.  
panic started to set in before he remembered.  
right. jisung didn’t want to sleep in the same room as him today. he must be sick of him too by now.

around 5:30 minho decides to give up on trying to sleep and made his way to the kitchen. the least he could do is try to be helpful, so he decided to start preparing breakfast to the others.  
while he might not be the best cook out of all of them he was decent enough to fetch up some pancakes, setting them on the table for the others before returning back to his room, not feeling up to facing the others just yet.


	2. Chapter 2

chan is next to get up and soon after all 7 of them gathered in their living room only to find breakfast already prepared for them.  
since chan was the first to wake up, felix assumed it must have been him. “thanks, chris”, sending him a small smile. chan looked over at him a little confused but didn’t say anything. 

“thanks for the food”, jisung said, sitting down next to chan.  
chan was a little confused but guessed one of the kids had waken up early to prepare breakfast and went to bed again after. 

after a minute of silence, felix spoke up first. “is minho still sleeping?”  
hyunjin let out a slight scoff. felix didn’t know why the other was still upset about yesterday when nothing had actually happened.  
“he probably is, he’s not one to get up this early” jisung chuckled, reaching across the table to steal another pancake from changbin’s plate, who let him with a small smile.

just before it was time to leave, hyunjin goes to wake up minho. he did feel a bit bad about yesterday, now after having calmed down more. they were all stressed. he still thought minho should have been more careful but he realized now that he was too harsh on the other.

softly knocking on the door before opening it slightly, he expected to be met with the sight of minho cuddled up into his blanket.  
instead, he found minho sitting on his bed, seemingly waiting for someone to come tell him that they were going to leave.  
hyunjin didn’t know why but it irritated him.  
minho couldn’t even have come sit with them during breakfast when chan took time and energy out of his morning to prepare breakfast? did minho care so little?

“where you awake all this time?”  
minho just hums, not looking at him.  
“you couldn’t have bothered to show up and eat with the rest of us? you know, chan made us all breakfast?”

at that, minho did look up. he was confused. did the other’s not want to eat his cooking? was it too disgusting?  
he felt his stomach twist into knots. he didn’t know why this bothered him so much.  
“sorry”  
he felt drained already, and the day hadn’t even started yet.

dance practice was even worse than the day before.  
minho felt like his knees were going to give out on him.  
he could practically feel hyunjins glare on him.  
minho understood it though, he was so fucking mad at himself too.  
fucking useless.  
and he was supposed to be the main dancer.

he knows hyunjin had been working extra hard to perfect his dance moves. and what had he been doing besides feeling bad for himself?  
he was slacking off, and he was dragging the others down with him.

he felt his eyes burning. he felt sorry to the others for burdening them with his shit.

after another couple of minutes chan finally stopped the music, but instead of his usually encouraging words he, too, seemed pretty frustrated.

“minho, i don’t know what’s going on with you today again. everyone has those days but this is the second time in a row.”  
minho didn’t know what to say, keeping his eyes trained to the floor.

“maybe we should head home. minho… I’d like you to try getting the dance moves down today.”

he could hear changbin let out a frustrated sigh while packing up his stuff to head out.  
felix gave him an apologetic pat on the back but left all too soon as well.

he missed the others already, missing their presence, their warmth.  
an itch started to build up underneath his skin.

he tried practicing. he really did.  
he managed to get through the song a few times before he felt like his legs were going to give out.

his previously dull headache had developed into a full-blown migraine.  
black sopts started dancing around his vision.

deciding he’d rather not faceplant into the floor he went to sit down for just a couple minutes.

a short while later he decides to continue practicing, trying to get up, but his legs didn’t seem to want to listen to him.  
trying again but not being able to move his legs at all he starts to panic a little.  
no matter how exhausted he was, he should be able to move his fucking legs!

he feels his breathing pick up a little, his eyes starting to burn with unshed tears again.  
how was he going to improve now? when he couldn’t even get up to practice.

in the back of his mind he knew that this shouldn’t be his first priority in a situation like this, he couldn’t move his legs for fucks sake.  
but the others words kept ringing in his ears.  
as nice as chan tried to be about it, minho knew the elder was annoyed at him for fucking up their dance practice again.

he could feel his mind growing fuzzy.  
not like when you’re tired, it felt more like fog surrounding him.  
his eyelids grew heavy and he really didn’t have the strength to fight it, letting himself curl up on the hardwood dance floor.

\----------------------------------

minho woke up again around 3 am – because, well, the dance floor isn’t exactly the most comfortable place to sleep.  
he got up, deciding he should head home before any of the others woke up and noticed him still being gone.  
he didn’t really pay any mind to the happenings of before – since his legs were back to working fine now – and made his way back to their dorm.

when he got to his and jisungs shared bedroom he tried to be as quiet as possible, as not to wake the younger.  
“lino?” a small voice from across him.  
well so much to not waking him.  
“cuddles?”

minho couldn’t ever say no to that, so he went over to curl up next to jisung, the younger wrapping himself around him fully.  
it was nice.  
minho felt the tension leaving his shoulders, the stress draining from his body.

he felt warm and fuzzy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed this update!  
> im really not very confident in my writing hehe,  
> but i tried my best :)  
> some minsung cuddles at the end because i couldnt let lino hurt alone anymore,, there will be more angst in the future but rn i just needed this heheh


	3. Chapter 3

minho wakes up still feeling cozy and warm. he feels safe.  
his headache faded into the background.  
it’s been over 24 hours since he last let out his ears which was starting to really hurt, but he couldn’t care less as long as he could stay cuddled up into jisungs warm arms for longer. 

he’s ripped out of the daze when the door is suddenly thrown open and the blanket ripped away from his body.  
“hyungs, wake up! chan said we have to leave in 10 minutes!” felix went over to pull away the blinds from their window to let in the early sun light.  
minho felt jisung shift next to him, starting to sit up groggily.

being ripped out of the warm comfort made him feel disoriented. his whole body suddenly feels really cold – not only because of the lack of blanket and warm body next to him – and he feels shivers start to run across his body.  
slowly, minho makes his way over to the bathroom, locking himself in there to finally let out his ears again, starting to feel a little nauseous, his mind starting to drift off again.  
all too soon he’s pulled back to reality by harsh knocking on the door.

“hurry up, hyung! I need to pee”  
minho sighed, making his ears disappear again.  
or tried to, at least.

“fuck why isn’t it working” he hissed to himself.  
his skin started feeling too tight as hyunjin kept banging on the door.

“shit” he whispered feeling himself start to freak out a bit, trying to keep his breathing regular.  
“hyunnie, I still need five minutes, okay?” he tried to keep his voice as calm as possible.

“whatever, hyung. hurry. we need to leave soon.”

his surrounding started fading as if fog was setting around him, the silence starting to buzz in his ears, drowning out everything else. it hurt.

‘you’re disgusting. now it’s all over. this will ruin everything’. it hurt to think like that but minho knew the members would be disgusted if he let them see him like this.  
he had to try harder.

closing his eyes minho tried to focus on willing his ears away.  
something like this had never happened before.  
first his legs now his fucking ears. something was seriously wrong.

he didn’t know how much time had passed when he opened his eyes again. relieve washing over him when he was met with his reflection – no ears on top of his head. 

he finally unlocked the door to let hyunjin in.

“finally hyung! what the fuck where you doing in there to take so fucking lo-“ hyunjin started to yell but shut himself up when he saw the state minho was in.  
“what the fuck?! shit, hyung are you okay?”

it was only then that minho noticed he was way too fucking hot and sweating like he had just ran a fucking marathon.  
he must be a scary sight. pale, dark eyebags, flushed cheeks and dazed eyes.

he didn’t really hear what hyunjin said next. another face suddenly appeared in front of him.  
chan? he couldn’t really tell through the fog clouding his mind.

“-hno! minho, can you hear me? shit, hyunnie what happened?”  
minho could see hyunjin walk back and forth, unsure of what to do. “I don’t know hyung, he just came out of the bathroom looking like this! fuck, what’s wrong with him?”

minho felt a bit more grounded as two pairs of arms wrapped around him.  
“he came back really late yesterday”.  
was that jisung?  
“maybe he got sick because of that”.

“sungie, go get seungmin and check minho’s temperature.”

minho felt himself being moved and then pushed down to sit on a bed.

“hyung, can you open your mouth for me for a second?”  
minho tried to focus on the person in front of him.  
“c’mon, I need to check your temperature, okay?” minho hummed and complied, letting the other (was it seungmin?) stick the thermometer underneath his tongue.

“there we go hyung. changbin is gonna bring you some soup and water, and then you can sleep, okay?” he said, getting up to leave.  
“seungie?” minho’s voice came out slurred. his tongue felt heavy in his mouth.  
“hmm? want me to stay?”  
minho could only let out a small whine.  
“okay, baby, don’t worry. I’m here, okay?”

once seungmin and changbin got minho to eat a few spoons of the soup and swallow some medicine with the water changbin had brought, minho’s eyelids grew heavy again. he couldn’t help letting himself be emerged by darkness again.  
just, it wasn’t scary, or cold,  
it felt safe, warm. maybe it was seungmin’s hand lightly running through his hair.

fortunately, it was Friday, meaning the next two days everyone would get to rest.  
chan ordered the rest of them to still leave for dance practice, while telling minho to stay home and rest, but promising the others that they would end earlier to come back and check on minho.

a few hours later, minho awoke to an empty dorm.  
he remembered the chan telling him to stay home that day, but the rest was blurry.

in his dazed mind he couldn’t help but think about what had been happening the past couple of days.  
‘maybe they didn’t want him to practice with them because soon he wouldn’t be part of the group anyways’.

maybe he should show them that he wasn’t useless after all.  
slowly getting up from his bed he made his way into the living room.  
there he started tidying up the mess the other’s left – they must have had another movie night the day before while he was still at the dance studio. they probably had fun without him.

moving from room to room, cleaning everything up, throwing the dirty clothes in the laundry, making sure not to misplace anything so the others wouldn’t have even more trouble because of him.

after a few hours his body screamed at him to go back to bed.  
he was basically finished now anyways.

as soon as his head hit his pillow, he fell right back asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is mostly just lino being sick and jisung kinda taking care of him?? not too much happening, i just wanted to write fluff.  
> some plot too tho
> 
> i wrote like everything up until this chapter in one day so the writing is probably not too good hehe
> 
> thanks for reading!

chan – surprisingly – was the first to get back to the dorm.  
he had been suddenly hit with inspiration for new song lyrics but having left his notebook at the dorm.

since he was so focused on that he didn’t took notice of how clean every room was.

an hour later, felix and jisung also returned to the dorm, noticing the mess from the night before gone, but not paying it too much mind in favor of checking on minho – they assumed chan had been too caught up with his work to do so.

jisung slowly opened the door as not to disturb minho, who they found lying on top of his blanket. did he feel too hot? maybe his fever had gotten worse.  
quickly walking over to check his temperature, felix was relieved to find it hadn’t risen much.

this, however, shook minho out of his sleep.  
“lix?” he mumbled, face smushed into his pillow.  
“hey hyung. how are you feeling?”  
minho grumbled something into the pillow that neither jisung or felix could understand.  
“baby, you gotta get your face out of your pillow first, or we won’t be able to understand you”, jisung chuckled slightly.  
but minho ignored him in favor of going back to sleep.

later that evening, felix decided it was time to force chan to take a break from working, so he made his way over to their room.

“chris, come cuddle with me.”  
chan looked up, his eyes stinging slightly from working non-stop for that long.

“yeah give me just a minute.”  
felix went over to chan’s closet to pick out a (for him) over-sized shirt to sleep in that night.  
“you know, you didn’t have to clean the dorm alone.”

chan looked up at him, confusion written across his face.  
it was then that he noticed their room looking cleaner than how he remembered leaving it that morning.  
“huh.. I didn’t-  
wait, we all left together right?”  
felix didn’t get why chan was asking that  
“uhm yeah, you forced all of us out, remember?”  
“yea of course I remember.. and none of you came back before me?”  
“I don’t get why youre asking all this”  
chan stood up, walking across the room to sit on his bed, felix already laying underneath the blanket.  
“what I’m trying to say is.. I didn’t clean the dorm. and if I didn’t clean it and you guys didn’t either-”  
felix got it now. “shit that means minho fucking cleaned the entire dorm while he was supposed to be fucking resting”.  
a frown started forming on chan’s face.

“tomorrow we’re having a family meeting about everything that’s been going on.”

when minho woke up he could hear light snores coming from jisungs side of the room.  
he wanted to go back to sleep, feeling the now familiar coziness overtaking his mind, his ears twitching slightly.

wait.

two fucking cat ears sat atop his head.

“shit.” he hissed, getting up as fast as possible without disturbing the younger, making his way to the bathroom.

that was one of the reasons he hated being sick.  
sure, not being able to breathe correctly and feeling too hot or too cold all the time sucked, but on top of that, whenever minho got sick he lost control over his cat features.

they would randomly appear without him being able to hide them away again.  
when he got really sick, he would sometimes even grow a fucking a tail.

as weird as this might be, but minho actually knew basically as little about hybrids as most regular humans.  
one thing he knew, though, was that external stress could either force out animal features or force them to be hidden away again.  
and he knew how sensitive his (cat) ears where to temperature.

so this was worth a try.  
trying to force them away through temperature shock.

that sounded ridiculous but it was the only way he could think of.

he turned on the shower slightly, first setting the temperature to a comfortable warm setting and letting it drizzle onto his ears.

gritting his teeth, he turned it hotter.  
“fuck, this fucking sucks” his ears started to really hurt already.  
once they got used to the hotter water, he quickly turned it to ice-cold, which made him let out a high-pitched yelp.

he started growing a little dizzy before turning off the water, not feeling his ears anymore.

he quickly went over to the mirror to make sure, finding his cat ears gone.  
at least it had worked.

when he entered his room again he felt his body crave someone else’s warmth, so he went over to jisung’s bed again, snuggling up to the younger who easily wrapped his arms around him.

jisung woke up to something tickling his neck.  
opening his eyes he noticed a bundled up figure who’s face was smushed into his neck.  
he smiled, bringing up his hand to run it through minho’s hair, admiring the older’s sleeping form. said man let out a content sigh at jisung’s action, snuggling up even closer to the other.

in situations like this jisung couldn’t help but be reminded of a cat. he remembered his childhood friend having a cat that would always come snuggle up into jisung’s neck when they had sleep-overs.

minho was just really fucking cute. that’s it.

but he decided to get up to go get minho something light to eat, noticing it being already 9:30.

in the kitchen he was met with chan sitting at the table with his laptop, seemingly working on a new song.  
“morning, hyung”  
chan hummed in reply, gesturing jisung to sit down next to him.  
“what’up, hyung?”, jisung turned to look at what chan was working on, but chan turned away his computer from both of them.

“have you noticed anything going on with minho lately?”  
jisung was slightly taken aback by that.

“what do you mean? is something wrong?”

“well besides him working himself into exhaustion..  
I don’t know.  
he just seems off? or has been for a while now.  
I didn’t really pay it any mind because, you know, we’re all stressed because of our next comeback.  
but he just.. I don’t know. I’m just worried.”

jisung tried sending him a comforting smile.  
“I’ll keep an eye on him for you, okay?”

chan hummed, turning back to his computer. “please do sungie, tell me if something happens, okay? I just worry about you guys a lot.”

jisung went to heat up the soup he had wanted to get now.  
“I know, hyung. don’t worry too much, hmm.”

once the soup was warm, he made his way back to minho.

“lino~ hyungie. c’mon wake up, I got you soup~”

the elder stirred slightly, stretching his hands out and letting out a little squeak, making jisung chuckle (yes jisung is fucking whipped for minho, how could he not be).

minho sat up with the help of jisung, feeling warm and fuzzy.  
his arms felt jittery, but he felt comfortable. he felt weak but he didn’t mind. it didn’t feel like when your muscles are exhausted because of hours of working out.  
rather, he felt like he was floating,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed hehe
> 
> i'm lowkey projecting onto minho so there will be more angst the next few chapters but i just wanted him to be taken care of a bit..


	5. Chapter 5

after helping minho eat about half the bowl of soup, jisung tries to get him to lie back down.  
he was a bit concerned about the fact that minho seemed unable to even pick up the bowl on his own, but he was sick after all, his body was probably saving up all his energy to fight off whatever sickness had overcome him.

minho tried to refuse at first, wanting to cuddle instead of sleeping, but his body didn’t want to listen to his mind so not too soon after he was fast asleep again.

he wakes up later that afternoon, alone in his room.

he let’s out a small noise of dissatisfaction, trying to wiggle out of the blankets jisung had wrapped around him to make his way to the living room.

there he found his members cuddled together on the couch watching a movie.  
he felt a small pang in his chest.  
rationally he knew they didn’t mean to exclude him, rather letting him rest while sick.  
but his clouded mind couldn’t help but start drifting to his insecurities. his fear of the members leaving him. of being kicked out of the group. it was stupid.  
he was fucking stupid. he knew this had nothing to do with that.

changbin was first to notice minho awkwardly standing in the door frame, watching them.

he locked eyes with him, trying to get him to come over by patting his lap.

when minho didn’t move, he called out to him.  
“hyung! come on, we’re having a movie night. wanna watch – uh – this movie with us” obviously not having been paying attention to what they’d been watching.

minho hummed and decided to join them instead of upsetting them by walking away.

just, there was no more space on the couch.

changbin patted his lap again, signaling minho to come sit with him.

minho complied, timidly sitting down on changbin’s thigh, who was having none of it and wrapped his arms around minho’s torso, pulling him onto his lap completely. minho let out a high squeal at this action, which made changbin chuckle slightly.

the tension soon left minho’s body and he let himself cuddle into changbin’s chest, feeling like he was floating again.  
his mind drifting off, to nowhere in particular. all he could think about was how safe he felt in changbin’s arms.

because of that, he didn’t notice the movie being turned off nor chan starting to talk.

when minho didn’t react at all, chan grew really worried.  
he noticed how unfocused minho’s eyes were, glossed over and minho obviously not mentally present.

he turned to the others.  
“this. this has been happening more and more often lately. I don’t know what’s going on and it fucking worries me. I don’t know if this is because he’s still sick, if he’s hurt-”  
chan was working himself up, felix could tell. he was starting to really freak out a bit.  
“chris, shit, it’s okay. we’ll figure it out together, okay? you need to calm down”.

felix went over to sit in front of chan, taking his hand into his own, giving it a slight squeze.  
“sorry..”  
felix just smiled in response, settling himself on chan’s lap.

while this had been happening, minho had been growing more aware of his surrounding again.  
noticing everyone gathered around him, the TV turned off he felt himself being ripped back to the present.

chan noticed minho’s eyes growing more focused and turned towards him.  
before he could say anything, tho, minho rushed to stand up and bolted and of the room.

“hyung!” jisung cried, taking off right after him, following minho to their shared room.

there he found minho curled into the blankets on their (technically jisung’s) bed.  
“hey baby, what’s going on, hmm?”, but minho only shook his head.  
“you don’t wanna talk to me?”, he sat down next to minho, who only curled up tighter.  
“hmm, wanna cuddle?”, which minho never refused, but minho only shook his head, again.

“baby, please talk to me.. what’s been going on?”  
minho lifted his head slightly to look at jisung but didn’t say anything.

“channie-hyung is really worried, you know? we all are.”

minho couldn’t help but feel bad about that. he didn’t mean to make them worry, but he couldn’t exactly tell them what had been going on.

“ ‘m just tired, sungie.”  
“hyung, please. something has been off with you lately. we just wanna help.”

minho smushed his face back into the pillow, starting to feel nauseous again.  
“ ‘m sorry, didn’t mean to make you worry”. he felt tears start to build up in his eyes, trying not to let them fall. 

“why can’t you tell us, hyung? don’t you trust us?”, jisung went to get up.

“sungie-“

jisung wasn’t actually angry at minho. he was frustrated. mostly because he felt so helpless. he didn’t know what to do, and with minho not talking to them it just made him feel irritated.  
he didn’t mean to snap at minho, but he felt overwhelmed by the feeling of helplessness that made it slip out.

“you know what. forget it, hyung. if you don’t trust us then at least take care of yourself for once.”

with that he left.

as soon as he walked back into the living room he felt dread set in for what he had just said.  
maybe it was best to let minho sleep it off for the night, the older probably didn’t want to face him after what he said.

or so he thought.  
back in their room, minho was curled into a tight ball, shaking and trying to muffle his sobs.

he felt like a child but he couldn’t care less right now.

he just wanted jisung to forgive him and to come cuddle with him.  
he didn’t want to be alone right now.  
he was cold, he was fucking scared and he just wanted someone to hold him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight TW: mention of child abuse and su1cide!!  
> it's not graphic but just a heads-up

eventually, minho did end up falling asleep, not being able to fight the exhaustion.

the next morning he felt mostly back to normal again, making his way into the kitchen only to find his members sitting at the table.  
when chan noticed him, he gestured for minho to come sit down with them.

“we need to talk”.  
minho expected this to come but he still couldn’t help feeling jittery with anxiety.

“what has been going on with you lately, minho?”

minho stared at his hands on his lap, unsure of what to say.

jisung noticed his discomfort, but didn’t say anything, not wanting to overstep his boundaries after what had happened yesterday.

“listen, minho. it cant go on like this. if you’re feeling unwell, you can come to us or ask for a day off. but if you don’t tell us and end up slowing down the rest of the group – right before a comeback on top of that..”

minho knew it. he had tried to keep going regardless of his issues not to drag down the others but ended up doing exactly that.  
“I’ve just- I haven’t been feeling too great lately, I guess.”

felix hummed, wanting to comfort minho, but he knew they had to have this talk.

“and you couldn’t have come to us earlier?” hyunjin asked, voice soft but with a slight harshness to it.  
“i- I didn’t know how to bring it up. I didn’t want to burden you with my shit, okay?”  
chan sighed, readjusting in his seat.  
“if you need a break, you should tell me instead of working yourself to the point of getting sick. being sick gives us more extra work than you taking a day off.”

minho knew that. he didn’t know why he had suddenly fallen sick – technically he knew it was because of suppressing his hybrid form for so long, but he didn’t want to admit that to himself.

“I’m sorry. next time I’ll be more careful.”

“that’s not what I meant, minho-“ chan started, but decided to leave it at that. “alright. but, just know you can come to us if you need help, okay?”

“I will, hyung. thanks”, minho said, getting up to go find something to eat.  
“also, minho, when I tell you to rest, I mean fucking rest and not ‘clean the entire dorm’”.  
minho heard jisung gasp, mumbling an apology before hurrying out of the living room.

dance practice that Monday went as good as it could. minho got through it with no major issues and no complaints from the others.  
perhaps the amount of rest he got throughout the weekend did help him.

back at the dorm, he helped to prepare dinner, everything seemingly back to normal.

during dinner he started feeling his legs grow numb again. this did make him a bit worried, remembering the last time this had happened a few days ago, which had ended up with him unable to move them at all.  
he excused himself, saying he felt tired and wanted to head to bed early.

once out of their sight, he hurried to the bathroom, locking himself in there and sitting down.

his legs started tingling painfully but he kept control over moving them – which must be a good thing, he guessed.

he got up shakily again, carrying himself to the sink and mirror to let out his ears for a minute.

feeling himself actually grow tired, he quickly got ready and made his way back to his room.  
he expected jisung to not be there yet, but the absence of the younger still made his stomach twist painfully.

jisung had been avoiding him ever since their ‘argument’. the younger must be sick of him, of his clinginess.

sighing, he made his way to his bed, trying to get comfortable despite the heavy feeling weighing him down.

he ended up falling asleep pretty quickly, just minutes before jisung entered their room.

jisung had indeed been actively avoiding minho, but not because he was upset with the older, rather he felt bad for yelling at the other and expecting minho to still be upset with him – not realizing how much their lack of interaction was affecting the latter.

looking over to minho’s sleeping form, he felt the urge to go over for cuddles, but decided against it.

\---------------

screams were echoing in his ears. he could hear his dad yelling downstairs, the police officer was saying something minho could barely understand.  
“Mr. Lee, we ask you to calm down or we’ll have to arrest you for interfering with investigation.”  
minho didn’t understand what he meant. didn’t they already find the evidence needed?  
“I’ve been told there is evidence of this not being an accident. if that is the case, I demand this being looked into further.”  
minho was confused. his mom had lost control of the wheel, is what the police lady had told him the other night. how could that be anything but an accident?

“listen here. our town already has a bad fucking name, if we report on another fucking hate crime against a hybrid who knows what will happen.”

minho stopped listening at that point.  
even at 10, he understood that hybrids were treated different from humans. he knew that being a hybrid meant having to be extra careful. it meant he had to hide his true self around people he didn’t know well, this much is mom had always told him.

days later, minho found his dad lying in the kitchen, skin a pale green, eyes rolled back and vomit lying in a pool around him.

an overdose, he was told later at the hospital.  
his dad didn’t make it.

his dad’s parents were supposed to take him in.  
they weren’t very happy about that.  
not only had their human son married a hybrid and had a kid, this hybrid also caused him to lose his life.

minho was therefore passed over to a distant relative on his dad’s side that he had never met before.  
a married couple, who weren’t happy about having to take in a kid, and a hybrid at that, but they could use the financial aid they’d get for it.

similar to his grandparents, this couple was also held conservative views on hybrids, believing them to be less than humans.

they treated minho more like a pet rather than human, even though they made him hid his ears at all times.

minho had never been forced to hide them away for such long periods of time.

it got to the point where minho felt seriously sick because of it, ending up in the hospital.

he ended up being taken away and put in the foster system, moved around for a while until one family decided to permanently take him in.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again slight TW for child abuse but it's not very graphic

(he was moved around for a while until one family decided to permanently take him in)

they were nice to him.  
minho was 15 at the time. they had a son a few years older (he was turning 19 in a month).  
they got along as well as a 15- and 19-year-old could get along.

while they never made him hide his ears, minho never really felt comfortable letting them out around them.

until one day, he was sitting on his (adoptive) brother’s bed with him, when he felt his head start to hurt. considering he had been living with this family for a few months now, he felt save enough to let his ears out.

the older looked a little surprised at first, reaching out his hand to touch minho’s ears.  
minho had never had someone (besides his parents) touch his ears, so it made him a bit uncomfortable.

when he tried to pull away, the older grabbed his ear harder, making minho let out a pained yelp.  
minho’s ear started aching. he reached up his hand to try and pry away the other’s fingers, who just dug his nails further into his ear.  
“hyung! please, youre hurting me!”  
but to no avail, the older didn’t let go.

minho frantically tried to get up, accidently scratching the other’s face in the process.

this made him mad. he grabbed minho by the hair, forcing him down and pinning his arms to his sides.  
minho couldn’t do anything, frozen in fear.  
the elder started yelling, but minho couldn’t hear him.

the screams echoed in his ears.  
it hurt.  
everything became really blurred as minho felt himself wake up with a sharp gasp.

fuck, he hadn’t had a dream like this in a while.

he should be over this shit by now.

minho started shivering. it was fucking cold in here.  
or maybe that was the layer of sweat covering him.

looking over to jisung, he was relieved to find the younger still fast asleep.

only when he went to get up did he notice how badly he was shaking, his breathing irregular.

he was fucking terrified.  
fucking pathetic. crying about something that had happened years ago.

his mind felt clouded again, and he couldn’t see correctly. 

he felt weird. as if the wasn’t really there.  
as if he wasn’t inside his body, rather like he was watching himself from above.

jisung was still mad at him, but he decided he didn’t care right now. he needed someone to touch him. to ground him.

he was going fucking crazy on his own. 

making his way over to jisung bed, he didn’t see the youngers notebook lying on the floor and ended up stumbling over it and falling to the floor.

“hyung what the fuck! be more careful-“ jisung started yelling, pulled from his sleep.

what he didn’t expect to see was minho, curled up on the floor, shaking and not responding to him at all.

“shit, lino- you okay?”  
slowing making his way over to the other, who was still not responding to him.

“hyung, hey! come on, you know I’m not actually mad! talk to me, please “.

he went to lay his hand on minho’s back to try and get his attention, but the other didn’t react to his touch at all, seemingly caught in his own head.

jisung was starting to also panic a little, trying his best to stay calm.

“hyung- okay, shit.  
I’m gonna pick you up, okay?”  
more talking to himself than minho, but still hoping to other would respond.

while jisung had been working out more lately, it definitely wasn’t his best idea trying to pick up someone taller than himself.  
somehow he did manage to maneuver minho and himself onto his bed, wrapping the older into a blanket and cuddling up next to him.

when minho still didn’t seem aware of his surrounding, his breathing a bit too fast and irregular, jisung started running his hand through the other’s hair, trying to make him calm down.

after a while, jisung felt minho move his head into his neck (as he always does), his breathing slowing down and the tension leaving his body.

jisung felt himself relax at that, moving to get more comfortable and finally falling asleep with minho cuddled into his chest.

\--

felix found them like that, cuddled up together and fast asleep.  
he didn’t have the heart to wake them, so instead he snapped a quick picture for their group chat, before leaving the two of them like that, not wanting to interrupt. he knew how tense their relationship had been the past few days, so he was glad they seemed to have worked things out.

minho wakes up disoriented. he felt warm and comfortable.  
most importantly, he felt safe.

the familiar feeling of floating was back. it was getting a bit hard to breathe with his head still stuck in jisungs neck, but he felt too lazy to move.

jisung woke up soon after, noticing minho seemingly still half asleep but conscious.  
“hey baby, you back with me?”  
minho only giggled, his breath tickling jisungs neck, making the younger squirm a bit.

chan walked into the room not much later, seeing jisung smiling, arms wrapped around minho.

“everything good? we need to leave in a few minutes.”

jisung looked at chan, his smile faltering a bit.  
“can you come here for a sec, hyung?”

a bit confused, chan sat down next to them, looking at jisung questioningly.

“uhm- well… I think maybe we should let minho stay home today.  
uh- last night he was really out of it.  
hyung, it was really scary.”

chan hummed slightly. “is he sick again?”

“no that’s not it. it’s more a- uh, mental thing, I think.  
even now, see- he’s awake but I don’t think he even realizes you’re here right now.”

chan let a hand run through his hair. “hmm, I’m guessing you want to stay with him?”

“would you let us? I know the comeback is coming closer and all but-“  
chan smiled, “sungie, you know the most important thing is everyone’s health, and minho trusts you the most. try and talk to him about this again, okay?”

humming, jisung nodded his head. “I’ll try. I’m just- I’m really worried. you- you should have seen him yesterday. I know what panic attacks look like, fuck, but that was so much worse. i- what if-“

“hey, hey, slow down there, sungie. we’ll figure it out, okay? right now, you gotta stay strong for minho, k?”

jisung curled up, pulling minho closer to him (if that’s even possible), humming slightly.

chan took that as his sign to leave.


	8. Chapter 8

jisung let minho cuddle with him a little longer before trying to coax him out of bed to look for some food.  
minho was awake, but he didn’t respond to jisungs attempts to make them both get up.

“hyung, c’mon im hungry” jisung tried again.

minho only hummed, pressing his face further into jisungs neck, letting out a small giggle.

jisung couldn’t help but grin at that. “oh, so you think this is funny, hmm baby?”  
he grabbed minho by his waist, starting to tickle him, making minho shriek before he broke out into high-pitched laughter.

“you with me now, lino~?”

he notices minho’s eyes looking a little glossed over, but not like the night before.  
there was a child-like glint to them, minho smiling widely while looking up at him.

“cuddles, sungie?”

jisung cooed at him, almost giving in. but his stomach grumbled angrily, reminding him that he was really fucking hungry right now.

“hmm after we get some food, okay?”

jisung was happy that minho seemed unaffected by the events of the night before, but mostly confused at minho’s behavior.  
don’t get him wrong, minho was really fucking cute like this but he was acting so unlike his usual self.

minho just looked at him, not moving to get up. so jisung decided to take it into his own hands, grabbing minho again and picking him up.  
“come here, you big baby” he laughed.

minho felt giggly, letting jisung give him a piggy-back ride to the kitchen.

somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought this was a little weird. he was the hyung, after all. having the younger take care of him was kinda – well – weird.   
but he couldn’t care enough to pay that any mind.

“sungie!” he calls out to jisung, who was currently fetching them a sandwich in the kitchen.  
“hmm what does my baby want, huh?”  
minho felt his cheeks start to hurt from smiling so much.  
“sungie, wanna cuddle”

jisung made his way over to where minho was sitting, placing a sandwich in front of the older.

“hmm if you eat this now, we can go back to cuddling in our bed. that sound good?”

minho nodded, picking up one half of his sandwich (that jisung had cut into two triangles for him, the only correct way to eat a sandwich), as jisung started eating his own.

jisung was starting to really fall in love with this version of minho.  
the older was usually reserved, even uncomfortable with letting others take care of him.  
but now, he was openly demanding cuddles, letting the younger carry him to their bedroom and back to the kitchen. letting jisung baby him, basically.

and jisung loves taking care of his hyung.  
the older had scared the shit out of him the night before. being able to make sure he was okay lifted a weight off jisungs shoulders.

he wasn’t tired at all, but laying in bed all day with minho made him feel drowsy.  
minho was seemingly already asleep on his chest again, so jisung his eyes slip shut, falling into a light sleep, the comforting weight of another body next to him.

he woke up to the feeling of something fluffy tickling his neck.  
opening his eyes to shoo away whatever this was, he saw minho laying on him.

it didn’t feel like hair though-

bring his hand up to feel whatever it was.

huh.

that was weird.

it felt almost like-  
like two fluffy ears.  
cat ears, that is.

trying to move his head back to get a better look, he ended up pulling minho out of his slumber.

“hng?”

what the fuck.  
was he dreaming?

“hyung, what are these-“   
he reached out to touch the fluffy ears again.

this brought minho back to reality, his eyes flying open, reaching up to touch his own ears.  
he sprung up, stumbling over the blanket wrapped around him, hitting his head as he fell.

“fuck minho!-“

minho got back up as fast as possible, his ears ringing.  
when jisung tried grabbing his arm, minho’s vision because blurry. feeling the adrenaline pump through him.

he couldn’t hear jisung calling out to him, he couldn’t see the concern written across the younger’s face.

he felt 15 again, so much smaller and weaker than his (adoptive) brother. the hands pushing him down, nails digging into his ears, making him bleed.

‘their’ parents bursting through the door at the noise, to find their son bleeding. anger crossing his ‘fathers’ eyes, the older man grabbing his arm painfully, pulling him away from their real son. his ‘mother’ screaming at him, scratching his cheek with her long nails, right underneath his eye.

minho couldn’t move. he couldn’t fucking get his legs to listen to him.  
his ears laying flat against his head, pupils dilated. his nails had grown sharper in his fear, accidentally catching jisung’s arm as the younger tried to get minho to calm down, making him yelp in pain.

fuck.   
fuck. he had actually done it now.

he didn’t even care about the group anymore. he didn’t care if he’d lose his job. if he’d be kicked out. 

more importantly, he had just singlehandedly ruined his friendship.

jisung must be fucking disgusted right now.

minho managed to get his legs to work again, doing the only thing he could.

run.

out of their room, out the front door, into the cold winter-night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not entirely sure what direction i'll take this work in the long run (a happy ending definetly).
> 
> when minho is all up in his head like this, im kind of referencing a headspace; i'm not exactly an expert on that so im just kinda doing whatever seems right to me. it's not really any headspace in particular but (as you could maybe tell from this chapter) it's similar to littlespace. i'm not really planning on making it that, exactly.
> 
> other times, when minho is disociating (when he's panicking) i'm referencing my own experiences so uhm yeah- 
> 
> i'll try my best to finish this story, but i'm not sure about how this is gonna continue since i have school next week again. since im graduating soon, i wont really have much time to write anymore.
> 
> i'll try to get this story to a point of a decent ending until then so yall arent left on a cliffhanger ndjsndakd


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter kinda sucks in my opinion djdjshud  
> i tried my best

jisung felt frozen.  
the slight cut on his arm didn’t hurt.

he was confused.

he simply stood there for a minute, staring to the direction minho had run away to.

when he came back to himself, he scrambled to find his phone, dialing chan’s number.

the older picked up after his 3rd try.

“sungie, what up? we’re still practicing right n-“  
“hyung you need to fucking come back to the dorm right now!”  
jisung never spoke to him that way.

“wow wow, what the fuck- jisung did something happen?”

“hyung minho is- fuck I can’t explain it over the phone, please just hurry home”.  
he could hear chan on the other side of the phone yelling at the others to pack their stuff, to head back to the dorm.

“we’ll be there in 10 minutes, okay”, chan sounded a little out of breath, probably running to collect his stuff.

jisung nodded despite knowing the other couldn’t see him.

hearing chan’s voice helped ease his mind a little. the older is always able to solve any problem they had.

thinking back to the prior events, trying to piece together what the fuck had just happened.

as promised, chan and the others barged in 10 minutes later, finding a distressed jisung in the hallway, looking close to crying.

“hey, hyung- what happened? where’s minho?”

at that, jisung burst into tears.  
“he- I don’t know where he is”

hyunjin stepped closer to him. “what do you mean, you don’t know? did you two have a fight? and know he’s hiding?” he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

jisung just started crying harder, though.

“hey, shit- I was just joking-“  
jisung shook his head, “I know that, hyung. I’m not-  
fuck, this is my fault.  
we need to find him! he fucking ran out!”

seungmin put a hand on his shoulder, looking at the others standing awkwardly around, not knowing what to do.  
“what do you mean, sungie?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know what the fuck just happened but minho got fucking scared and ran out of the dorm! he’s not even wearing shoes and you all know how fucking cold it is”

that seemed to finally get the others to move, everyone scrambling to throw their bags into the living room, getting ready to go back outside.

—-

minho didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.

he had nowhere to go, no one to go to.

all he knew is he had to get away.

he ran, turning into a small alleyway.  
he was too caught up in his own head to notice the dark figures approaching him.

he felt a slight sting on his right arm, feeling a hand wrap around his upper arm.

“what is a hybrid like you doing out here all alone?” the guy holding him snorted, his face twisted into a grimace.  
minho saw three further black figures approaching him, hearing them laugh and yell something.

another hand appeared on his back, someone gripping his shoulders.

he let out a whimper.

“don’t worry, we wont hurt you”, the guy gripping his arm let out a laugh.

minho’s heart started to race, his ears still flat against his head, his nails growing into claws.

he managed to scratch one of the men, feeling him let go of his arm.  
someone was yelling. he felt someone push him to the ground. everything became a blur at that point.

chan led the kids through the streets.  
he had no idea where they should start looking.

he was terrified. all he knew is that jisung and minho had some sort of fight that caused minho to take off and leave.  
what exactly had happened, he had no idea.

they’d been running around outside for maybe 30 minutes when they heard yelling coming from an alleyway.

“hyung- what’s going on there?”  
jeongin already started making his way over there.  
“jeongin wait! it’s not really any of our busines, we shouldn’t –“

a loud whimper suddenly came from the direction of the alley, making chan stop in his tracks.

this wasn’t any normal fight or whatever the hell he had thought had been going on there.  
this whimper sounded like a hybrid.

growing up, chan had never really had much contact to any hybrids, but his mother used to tell him stories about her childhood and her best friend, who happened to be one.

because of his mom, chan grew up aware of the discrimination hybrids faced, and aware of the abuse many had to go through solely for existing.

he couldn’t just let whatever those assholes were doing to a hybrid happen.

“okay. guys listen. I know we’re here for minho but-  
but I’m pretty sure there’s a hybrid being hurt in that alleyway and I don’t want to leave them there-“

before he could finish, jisung interrupted him.  
“a hybrid?!”

chan didn’t get why jisung was getting so worked up over it, but he didn’t really want to waste any more time.

trying to stay hidden for as long as possible, they made their way into the dark opening of the alley.

all chan could see was four guys standing over another figure that was curled up on the floor.

“get the fuck away from him!”  
chan knew this was a really fucking bad idea, but he didn’t want to risk the person being hurt any further.

as fucking stupid as his idea had been, the guys apparently hadn’t been expecting anyone to show up, startling them. 

“not even enough balls to actually go against more than a single person”.

jisung couldn’t wait any longer, running past chan to the person laying on the floor.

there was no way this was actually minho.

fuck.

he signaled the others to stay back, trying to get minho to focus on him.

“hyung!” he whispered (whisper-shouted?).  
“hyung, listen. we’re all here okay. I know you don’t want them to see you-  
to see you like this. your ears.  
now’s your chance. no one had the chance to look at you yet.”

jisung didn’t know why he was doing this, but he knew this was important for minho.

there was a reason minho didn’t feel like he could tell him and the others. so he didn’t want to ruin it.

this seemed to have caught minho’s attention, a soft whine leaving his lips before jisung saw his cat ears disappearing.

“okay. okay, fuck.  
hyung!” now addressing the others.

chan acted quickly, making his way to jisung and the person still lying on the ground, hyunjin right after him.

chan couldn’t move, hearing hyunjin let out a sharp gasp.

“what the fuck? what the fuck! fuck, minho!” hyunjin’s scream pulled chan from his shock.

“I thought you said it was a fucking hybrid, hyung! why is minho lying there now?!”

chan didn’t know. he didn’t understand.

“shit. jisung is he hurt?”  
the most important thing was to make sure minho was okay right now, they could ask questions later.

“he’s- I don’t know. I don’t think he’s hurt, there’s no blood or bruising anywhere I can see.”

chan hoped that was true. he hoped they had reached minho before anything could have happened.

“let’s just- let’s get him home. we can check him for imjuries there.”


	10. Chapter 10

seungmin rushed to find their first-aid kit.  
chan was carrying minho to the couch in their living room, trying not to hurt him any further.

as far as chan could tell, there really were no injuries on minho, but he wasn’t responding to anything they were saying.  
this had happened before. chan thought back to their movie night a few nights ago.  
was this the same thing?

it seemed different, though.

then, while minho wasn’t responding he seemed comfortable on changbin’s lap.

right now, he looked close to passing out. his skin pale, he was shaking and chan could feel his heart hammering against his chest.

they were all scared, confused.  
but jisung was the worst of them all.

ever since they got home, jisung looked like he wanted to throw up.

“you know, sungie, this isn’t your fault. “

but jisung just shook his head, not wanting to talk at the moment.

once seungmin returned with their first-aid kit he started searching minho’s body for injuries.

minho didn’t react at all, which was helpful and let seungmin look him over easier, but it was also pretty fucking concerning.

“besides a few scratched, I don’t think anything is physically wrong with him”, seungmin finally turned to the rest of them.

jisung sits down next to minho, shaky hands cupping minho’s face.  
fuck, he was so glad nothing had happened.

“lino, hey, wanna- wanna come back to us?”.  
jisung had no idea what he was doing.

he started lightly poking minho’s cheek with his finger, letting his other hand rest on the back of minho’s neck.

“hyung”, he whispered, “come on. can you look at me?”

he heard minho let out a small noise.

“yeah, that’s it, hyung. come on hmm, we’re all worried for you”.

looking up at the others, he saw them just awkwardly standing around him, quickly bringing his focus back to minho.

he saw minho’s eyes growing more focused.  
“hey”, smiling at him, he let his hand run through minho’s hair at the back of his hand, trying to make him stay calm.

minho closed his eyes at that, leaning into the touch.  
this made jisung let out a light chuckle.

“lino~ wanna look at me, baby?”.  
he didn’t know how minho would react once he fully came back to reality.

fuck after what had happened just a while before, minho would probably freak out again.

slowly, minho opened his eyes, focusing on the face in front of his own.

confusion set in, he didn’t remember where he was or how he’d gotten here.

apparently, jisung took notice of that.  
“we’re back at the dorm, on the couch in our living room”, letting minho look around a bit.

jisung was a little glad that the others were standing behind minho’s back, not in his current line of sight.

jisung couldn’t really blame hyunjin for stepping forward and trying to lay his hand onto minho’s shoulder. he knew the older was fucking worried, too.

but fuck if that wasn’t the stupidest thing hyunjin had done in a while.

minho flinched away from hyunjin’s hand, knocking jisung in the face with his elbow as he sprung up, backing away from the others.

“fuck! did you just fucking hiss at me? what are you, an animal?”.

jisung knew hyunjin didn’t mean to say that, he knew it was out of surprise. but fucking hell, that was probably the worst thing to say in this situation.

before anyone could say anything else, minho bolted out of the room, locking himself in the bathroom.

jisung wanted to run after him, but chan stopped him.

“jisung, wait. what is going on?!”

he knew he owed them an explanation, but it wasn’t his place to reveal minho’s secret.  
he couldn’t keep the others in the dark completely, though.

“i- I cant tell you everything but, uhm.  
okay you already know, we kind of had a fight? uhm it wasn’t really a fight though, uhm. I guess I found out something that minho didn’t want to tell me and it scared him?”

“something bad enough to make him fucking run out into the cold without actual clothes on?!”  
jeongin had every right to demand answers, but jisung just couldn’t tell them.

“jisung, if it’s something that serious it might harm minho. I know you don’t want to lose his trust but don’t you think you should tell us-“

“no! no, it’s not- it’s really not that serious. I mean, it’s serious. but it won’t cause him any harm. it’s nothing like that.  
can I go check on him now?”

chan let out a sigh. “please make sure he’s okay.”

jisung stood before the locked bathroom door.  
he didn’t know if it was a good idea to knock and try to talk to minho or if that would only make it worse.

when he heard small whimpers coming from inside, though, he decided he couldn’t just leave minho alone.

“lino~? hyung, can you let me in? it’s only me.”  
jisung knew minho probably wouldn’t listen to him, but he had to try anyway.  
“baby, can you hear me?”

it was silent for a minute and jisung was about to start talking again, when he heard a click, the sound of the door unlocking.

“fuck, im sorry for being such a fucking mess.”

jisung hadn’t expected that.  
the sight of minho, tears running down his face was painful to see but he wasn’t surprised by it.  
he didn’t expect, however, that minho would fucking apologize for it.

“hey, no. you don’t have to apologize, hyung.”

minho didn’t look at him, busy starring at his hands.

“can I hug you?”

minho practically threw himself into jisung’s arms.  
as much as he was terrified now that jisung had found out the secret he had been so carefully hiding for years, he needed this.

they stood there for a while, jisung letting minho cling onto him, feeling his shirt grow wet.

“baby?”  
minho just whined in response.

“wanna go to bed?”

the older just clung harder to jisung, shaking his head.

“hmm why not, baby?”

“mm not a baby”

“hmm not a baby? I wanna go cuddle with my baby, though” his mouth forming into a grin.  
“does my baby not wanna cuddle?”

jisung felt minho shift in his arms.

he almost couldn’t stop himself from laughing when he saw minho’s cheeks burning red.

“want me to carry you?” he chuckled.

when minho didn’t respond, jisung put one arm underneath the olders legs, the other on his back and scooping him up into the air, making minho let out a squeak of surprise.  
“jisung!”  
minho threw his arms around jisung’s neck, holding on to him so he wouldnt to fall.

once in their room, jisung let minho fall onto the bed softly, laying down next to him.

“you know, this won’t change anything between us.”

he felt minho tense up.

“I don’t know why you feel like you couldn’t tell us. and you don’t have to tell me.  
I just want you to feel safe with us. with me.  
if you want me to pretend like I don’t know, I can do that.  
if you want me to help you with- with all this, I can.”

minho let out a small hum. 

“if you want to, you can let your- uhm, your ears out around me.  
no pressure! just if you want to.  
I don’t really know much about that sorta stuff- uhm, but it’s probably more comfortable for you to have them out?”

minho still didn’t respond, making jisung sigh.

“I just want you to be okay. everyone’s been really worried.  
you scared the shit out of us earlier. fuck, what if you’d been seriously hurt?”

“you wont tell the others?”

“promise.”

minho lay his head on jisungs chest. “okay”.

okay. they’d be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wait i actually like this chapter djjdhdbdjd  
> i'm not best at writing at all but idk this chapter turned out cute jdjdbsfb


	11. Chapter 11

minho had fallen asleep pretty soon after.  
jisung didn’t want to leave him, but his throat was killing, so he got up to get a glass of water.

in the kitchen he found chan sitting at the table – as always working on something.

“jisung. can we talk?”

of course chan would ask.

“hmm”, jisung quickly filled his glass with water, sitting down across chan.  
“minho’s okay, if that’s what you wanna know.”

jisung really didn’t want to have this talk.  
he didn’t know how much chan knew, how much he had figured out on his own.  
and he really didn’t want to accidentally tell him too much.

“that’s good.. that’s good.   
listen, you don’t have to tell me, but-  
the noise earlier, in the alley.  
humans don’t make those kinda sounds.”

jisung let out a nervous laugh, playing with his fingers.

“i was so sure it was a hybrid.”

“well then you were wrong.”  
he didn’t mean to get defensive, but fuck chan was too smart sometimes.

“just- if I’m right about this- you don’t need to answer that-“ he quickly added when he saw jisung shift away from him  
“how much do you know about hybrids?”, surprising jisung with his question.

“mm not much? we learned basic biology in highschool, but I’ve never really interacted with any before.”

“hmm. I wasn’t quite sure, so I did some research ever since you and minho left earlier.  
so, uhm.   
for cat hybrids specifically-“  
jisung shifted in his seat nervously.  
“they tend to need a lot of affection. physical but also emotional.   
I’m guessing you’ve been cuddling with minho just now?”, a smile on his lips.

“I don’t know what youre getting at”, trying not to show his uneasiness.

“I’m not implying anything.” chan grinned at him.  
“thank you.”

“what-“  
jisung hadn’t seen that coming.

“for taking care of him. he doesn’t really trust the rest of us the way he trusts you.”

jisung felt his ears turning red.

“it’s nothing.”

chan lightly squeezed his hand, before turning his attention to his computer.

“I’ll let you be, then.”

jisung remembered something just as he was about to get up.

“hyung- I have a question.”  
chan looked up to him, humming in response.

“did you read anything about, uhm- you know, sometimes minho seems not really present. did it say anything about that? is that a hybrid thing?”  
“ahh youre right, I wanted to look into that”, chan turned back to his laptop, his fingers clicking onto his keyboard.

“tell me if you find anything.” getting up to make his way back to his room, hearing chan mumble something in response.

\---

jisung found minho still curled up on his bed.

fuck, today had been stressful.

he’d have to ask chan to get their managers to give them a few days off.

he hadn’t noticed how wobbly his legs felt until now. it wasn’t that late yet, he usually stayed up for longer. but as he stood in their room, letting his mind wander over the events of that day, he felt exhaustion wash over him.

he walked over to his bed, pressing his lips to minho’s forehead.

a weird feeling started building up in his chest.  
it wasnt the kind of pressure he’d feel when he got anxious, but it wasn’t entire comfortable either.

cuddling up to minho helped ease it a little.   
“it’s gonna be okay.”  
he liked to pretend he was comforting minho with his words, knowing full well he was asleep.

jisung insisted on babying minho the next day, even as the older complained about not needing the other to take care of him.

chan had indeed already called their manager and gotten them 3 days off.

jisung could tell the others were refraining themselves from asking questions.  
he felt thankful for that.  
while it almost felt like everything was back to normal, he felt minho tense up every time one of the other’s gazes lingered on him for too long.

not much happened the next three days.   
jisung refused to let minho go anywhere on his own, but minho didn’t mind.  
the younger made him feel safe.

he still wasn’t comfortable letting his ears out around the younger, and now that jisung was following him around everywhere he went, he felt a migraine build up again.

but he didn’t want to ask the younger to leave him alone.   
the warm feeling whenever jisung clung to his arm made him forget about the throbbing behind his eyes.

as much as everyone wished they could just continue on like this, the three days passed quickly and they had to get back to their usual schedule.

while chan tried to go easy on them, he now had their manager yelling in the back of his mind about their comeback coming closer.

minho assured chan that he was feeling just fine; that he could participate normally during their practice.

jisung still clung close to minho, refusing to leave his side even with their busy schedule.

\--

minho didn’t really remember the last time he had let out his ears. 

he knew jisung meant well when he refused to leave minho’s side, and he didn’t really want to ask the younger to leave him alone.

but since he still didn’t want the younger to see him in his hybrid form, he didn’t have any time to let out his ears.

the faded headache had been building up into a nauseating migraine.

he knew he should have told chan, or jisung at least.  
but when he saw how stressed the two of them were, he decided to bite his tongue and just suck it up.

\---

dance practice was exhausting as always.   
the familiar burning in his muscles helped ground minho in reality.

jisung still let him cuddle up with him in his bed every day. the feeling of warm warms around him made the ever-present headache fade away.

it was as if everyone was walking on eggshells around him.  
minho knew they were trying to make sure he was comfortable, but it started to piss him off.

he wasn’t fragile. he wouldn’t break if they raised their voice once.

especially with the amount of mistakes he was starting to make again during their practices.  
he appreciated their effort to keep calm instead of losing their shit over it, but they were treating him like a kid.

he had expected them to be a bit uncomfortable around him for a few days, but this was getting ridiculous at this point.

when he almost stumbled over his foot for the 3rd time that hour alone, jisung just smiled at him, telling him it was okay and not to worry.

minho should be thankful, instead he felt irritated.

“im not a fucking child!”

jisung tried approaching him, “I know, hyung-“

“then stop fucking treating me like one! don’t pretend like it doesn’t bother you when I fuck up! don’t treat me like im about to break!”

he could see he had hurt jisung with his words.  
changbin took as step towards him, his brows furrowed.

“get a fucking grip of yourself! we’re not the ones treating you like a kid, you’ve been practically clinging to jisung the past couple of days whenever one of us tried to approach you! if you don’t want us to treat you like a kid then stop fucking acting like one!”

before minho could respond, he felt his ears start ringing as the previously dull aching behind eyes made him feel like his head was going to explode.

he clutched his head, letting out a pained yelp.  
he couldn’t focus his eyes, as he stumbled into the wall next to him.

his face felt painfully cold, as if all the blood had drained from it.   
he squeezed his head between his hands, trying to work against the feeling of pressure from inside that made him feel like his head was trying to expand outwards.

he heard yells coming from across the room, and a faint pain as he hit the ground before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit more angst??? i promise, there will be more fluff in the next few chapters .
> 
> also i'm not an expert on things like fainting but this is basically what it felt like for me when i passed out once before?? so uh if it doesnt seem realistic thats prbóbably because of my lack of talent for writing hsdafhfhehdv


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for your support! your comments make me so happy hfjhfkjshf
> 
> uhhh this chapter is a little boring i think??? but i kinda needed this to keep the story going or sth

minho hit the floor before any of the others had time to reach him.

“fuck! shit, minho!”, jisung ran towards the boy lying on the ground, picking up his head, trying to see if he hit it during the fall.

chan was next to reach them, sitting near minho’s curled up form.

after a while of trying (and failing) to get minho to respond, they started to panic a little.

“hyung! do something!” jisung cried, looking at chan.

chan didn’t know what he was supposed to do either, rummaging through his bag to find his phone.

“okay, shit. I’m calling an ambulance, jisung, hold his head steady, we don’t know how hard he hit it.”

\--

the 20 minutes the ambulance took to arrive felt more like an hour to jisung, minho laying limp in his lap.

when the paramedics arrived, jisung insisted on staying by minho’s side.

sitting in the waiting room felt like an eternity.

felix had made himself comfortable in chans lap, playing with the older’s fingers to help ground them both.  
while chan tried to stay strong for the rest of them, felix had noticed him fidgeting with his hands around the bottom of his hoodie.

felix had learned to recognize these signs in chan.

to his right, felix saw hyunjin cuddling up to changbin, seungmin and jeongin clinging to them for either side.

jisung sat at the edge, his back turned to the others, his legs bobbing up and down anxiously.

felix knew how felix must be feeling right now.  
of course they were all worried for minho. he was not only their team member but one of their dearest friends.  
but felix knew that jisung’s relationship with minho was different than the rest of them.  
especially over the last couple of days, the two had grown closer.  
jisung had been hanging onto the older everywhere he went. so it was only natural for jisung to blame himself for not noticing the older’s health declining again.

felix wished he could go over to comfort him but there wasn’t really anything he could say to the other that would help.

the only thing felix could do was pray for minho and hope for the doctor to let them go see him soon.

it was pretty weird that it took so long.

felix didn’t really have experience with this sorta thing, but he had thought minho might have simply passed out because of exhaustion or malnutrition, which shouldn’t be taking the doctors 1 hours to figure out.

maybe he had hit his head harder than they had thought and something was seriously wrong?

before he could let his mind pay too much thought to that, though, the door to the waiting room finally opened. a man in a white coat stepping in, asking them if they were here for han jisung.

chan immediately got up, greeting the man and asking about their members well-being.

the doctor gestured for chan to step outside, wanting to speak more privately.

jisung sprung up, begging chan to let him come with them.  
chan didn’t have the heart to deny jisung’s request, and so the two of them followed the doctor outside.

the doctor firstly assured them that minho as going to be just fine, that he didn’t have any serious injuries.

jisung felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

but this didn’t explain why minho hadn’t woken up, nor why he had passed out in the first place.

when jisung asked, the man furrowed his brow, turning to look at them more seriously now.

“we aren’t exactly sure. but we did find some concerning information. I was actually hoping you two could tell me more.”

jisung looked over to chan, the other looking just as lost as he felt.

“from what we could tell, he’s a hybrid?”

jisung tore his gaze back to the man in front of him.  
even though chan already knew, it still made him a little uncomfortable to have minho’s secret talked about so openly.

not paying the younger’s reaction any mind, the doctor continued.

“it was a bit hard for us to tell, which is never a good thing. hybrids aren’t supposed to hide their animal characteristics. it can cause serious damage.”

chan’s face twisted into a worried frown, but jisung beat him to the question.  
“it can harm them?!”

“if done for too long, yes.  
I was hoping you could tell us when he last changed into his hybrid form.”

chan looked at jisung expectantly, knowing the younger must know more than he did.

“i- I don’t know… not in the past few days at least?”

the frown on the man’s face grew deeper at that.

“how- uhm, how long is too long?”

“the recommended period of time is a few hours, after that physical symptoms start showing.”

jisung let out a curse, turning back to chan.

“hyung! but I was at minho’s side the entire last week. he- he never let his ears out around me.”, turning back to the doctor, “so he was in pain the entire time?”

“symptoms vary, but the most common ones are migraines and nausea. for him to actually pass out from it is concerning.”

chan saw jisung start trembling next to him, reaching out to pull the younger into a hug.  
he hated seeing him this way. even now with their other members, jisung would always stay his first maknae. he couldn’t help feeling overprotective over the other, and seeing him like this hurt him.

he wanted to assure the younger that they’d be fine, but at this moment in time, chan felt unable to.

“can we see him?”

the doctor nodded, telling them that minho was still unconscious, before calling a nurse that would lead them to him.

chan quickly got the rest of the members just before the nurse rushed them along the hallway.

minho looked… frail, laying there on the hospital bed.  
the constant beeping of the heart monitor next to him was making jisung anxious.

changbin was first to break the silence.  
“what did the doctor say?”

chan sent him a small smile.  
“not much. he just told us that minho was going to be fine-“

“bullshit.”

chan’s smile fell from his face.

“excuse me?”

changbin stepped closer to him.

“bullshit. do you think we’re stupid? -  
don’t fucking answer that.  
there’s no way he spent 15 minutes telling you about how minho’s doing oh so fucking well.  
do think im blind? I can how fucking shaken up jisung look, how you look for fuck’s sake!”

felix stepped between the two of them.  
“stop it, changbin.”

this made him more mad though.  
“oh, playing protective boyfriend now, yongbok?”, he asked, mocking the other.

chan was about to say something when they heard a small whine come from minho’s bed.

jisung immediately rushed over to him.  
“baby, hey. lino, are you here with us?”

jisung cupped minho’s face into his hand, caressing it with his thumbs. 

the rest just stayed back, giving the two a bit of space, smiling at how softly jisung was talking to the other.

“hmm is my baby up in the clouds again?” he grinned, poking minho’s forehead lightly, making the older let out a slight giggle.

felix looked at chan questioningly, but he just shrugged.

“how are you feeling?”, seungmin stepped to minho’s bed, sitting down next to jisung.

minho hummed, leaning into jisungs hands on his face.  
“mm warm”.

jisung’s smile grew wider, cooing at minho’s action.  
he brought his hand up to minho’s hair, letting it run through his curls, lightly scratching across his scalp. minho closed his eyes at that, letting gout a soft noise that almost sounded like a purr.

chan had used that opportunity to get a nurse, informing her that minho had woken up.

she explained that minho had to take things easy for now but that he was free to go. chan noticed her drifting towards the topic of hybrids, quickly cutting her off and gesturing to step outside.

“doctor Choi informed me he already had a talk with you about it?”

chan nodded, “he said it was important for hybrids to not hide their animal characteristics for longer than a few hours.”

“and you’ll make sure of that? we’d really not like to see lee minho back here in a few days again.”

chan smiled sadly, assuring her that they’d figure it out.

“alright boys, let’s go home.”


	13. Chapter 13

while jisung had insisted to carry minho, changbin beat him to it.

minho clung to changbin’s arms around him. he had expected to feel embarrassed, instead he found himself enjoying the comforting warmth of the other.

a dissatisfied whine leaving his lips when he was placed in the car, the warm arms around him disappearing.

but they were soon replaced by a body pressing close to him.  
he wasn’t tired but his eyelids felt too heavy for him to look at who it was.

his head was slowly pushed to rest on someone’s shoulder.   
letting his body go limp, he leaned onto the person sitting next to him.

a hand had returned to his hair, as well as the feeling of floating. 

the next time he opened his eyes, he was met with the familiar sight of his dorm room.

he felt someone shift next to him.

“hmm baby, you awake?”

minho let a hum, turning to face the other.

“we need to talk- we can wait until tomorrow if you’re tired but it’s important.”

minho knew this was going to come, he had fucked up. 

“no, we can talk right now.”

the bed shifted underneath him as jisung sat up.

“i know youre not- you don’t feel comfortable letting your, uhm, your cat ears out around me-“  
jisung started playing around with the hem of his shirt, unsure of how to speak about this without making minho freak out again.  
“uhm, but… if you’re in pain, you need to- well at least the doctor told us that it can be really dangerous if you don’t, you know, let your ears out, uh- did you know about that?”

minho knew the younger meant well, so he tried his best to stay calm for the other, as much as he wanted to run away to avoid this conversation. he felt like he owed the other.

“I guess I did.”

jisung turned to look at him, looking a bit hurt.  
“why didn’t you say anything?”

minho shrugged, sitting up next to jisung, taking the youngers hands into his own.

“I guess I didn’t expect it to get this bad.”

jisung hummed, both of them staying silent for a while.

“does it hurt a lot?”

“what?”

“when you don’t let them out. what does it feel like?”

minho didn’t know why, but he didn’t mind telling jisung.  
“hmm it depends? I guess.. I usually start getting a headache after a few hours?- uh but it’s really not that bad!” he quickly added, seeing the look on the younger’s face.

“how long do you usually.. you know.”

“a few days? it depends on how much time I have to myself.”

“and I didn’t let you have the at all the past week, so that’s why-“

minho shook his head, “it’s not your fault. I could have just asked you to leave me alone.”

“if I had known-“  
“but you didn’t, so stop blaming yourself. it’s my own fault. I should have known this would happen.”

“how could you have-“  
minho couldn’t stop his mind from wandering to his past, the first time it had gotten bad enough for him to pass out and be taken to the hospital. back when he was still living with his relatives.  
“it’s not the first time.”

maybe he should shut up, before he’d say too much.

“what?”

“something like this has happened before. back then I didn’t- I didn’t know. I had never had to hide? my ears, I mean. I didn’t know it could actually hurt me. I didn’t know. I guess they didn’t know either.”

jisung let his hands run up minho’s arms, resting them on both sides of minho’s neck.

“who is ‘they’?”

minho hummed softly. “someone I was staying with at the time.”

no one really knew anything about his family situation, as minho would call it.  
he had never told anyone about his parents and there wasn’t really any way to bring up his stay in the foster system without making the other person pity him.

“did you not want them to see your ears? is it something private?”

the younger was rubbing his thumb across minho’s jaw.

“no. no, it’s not really that. they didn’t really want me to, I guess uh, show them?”

“why?”

that made minho laugh, but jisung just stared at him confused.  
“whats so funny?”

“really? you do realize most people think hybrids are fucking dirty.”

jisungs hands stilled, his gaze darkening.

“they forced you to hide your ears because off their fucked up beliefs?!”

minho grinned at the younger. it was almost cute how naïve he was.   
“it’s more common than you might think.”

before jisung got the chance to speak again, minho got up from the bed. “and it’s been years since then. there’s no reason for you to get so worked up over it.”

“I don’t care how long it’s been. they hurt you!”

that really made minho laugh now.   
“they didn’t hurt me”  
he couldn’t look at jisung.  
“they were good to me.”  
what a lie.

“obviously they fucking werent!”

“nice enough to let a dirty hybrid live with them.”

minho wanted to keep talking, but the sound of a sob from behind him made him stop in his tracks.

“do you really think of yourself that way?”

fuck. fuck, he hadn’t meant to say that much.

“no?”  
great minho, very believable.

all that did, though, was make jisung sob harder.

minho spun around, walking back to jisung’s bed.  
“sungie don’t cry! I’m sorry-“

the younger practically latched onto him.

“don’t you dare apologize, dumbass!”

minho didn’t know what he was supposed to do, opting for simply letting the other cling to him until he stopped crying.

“you’re not dirty. hybrids aren’t dirty, hyung.”

“I know.”

jisung leaned back to look minho in the eyes. but minho held his head low, not wainting to make eye-contact with the younger.  
a hand underneath his chin forced him to look up.

“I mean it, hyung.”

“okay”.

jisung pulled him down on the bed on top of himself, wrapping his arms back around minho.  
“wanna take a nap?”

minho was never one to refuse a nap, but all he had been doing the past week was sleep.

“or we can just cuddle for a bit”.

that sounded good. minho let his head rest on jisung’s chest, closing his eyes to listen to the younger’s heartbeat.

maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. having someone he could trust.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm kinda unsure about this chapter?????? uhhh   
> like idk  
> i think i didnt execude it as well as i could have?? maybe
> 
> but uh yeah i tried my best

chan had asked jisung to make sure minho wouldn’t go days without letting his ears out again.  
jisung didn’t really know how he should go about that.

chan refused to let minho practice with them. in the end, their managers decided it would be best to post-pone their comeback.

with that out of the way, it was a little easier to breathe for all of them.

the next two days passed quickly.  
jisung had ended up cuddling with minho for most of it.

the next days jisung decided it was time for him to talk with minho, to get the older to promise him not to go too long without changing into his hybrid-form.  
it had already been 3 days again, and jisung was pretty sure minho hadn’t been paying enough mind to his health.

jisung made his way to their room.  
he had been talking with changbin about one of their new songs, trying to make some final adjustments.

when he entered the bedroom, he found minho sitting at their desk, his head between his hands, slightly curled into himself.

“lino? baby, are you okay?”  
minho slightly turned towards jisung, not looking at him though.

“sungie, hurts.” 

shit, it’s been too long already.

“baby, hey. okay. you need to let your ears out. i- do you want me to leave and lock the door?”

but minho shook his head.  
“don’t leave”. he squeezed his eyes closed, his hands pressing onto his ears.

“okay. but you need to let them out, okay baby?”

minho shook his head again.

“please, baby. it will make the pain go away.”

minho had started shaking by now, frantically shaking his head.

“I can look away while you do, baby. please. it hurts me to see you like this.”

small sobs escaped minho’s lips.

“it’s not that.”

“what is it then? I’ll lock the door so no one else will come in.”

minho still wasn’t looking at him, his eyes closed shut. “no”, his voice quivering slightly.

jisung went to turn off the light, trying to ease the stress on minho’s eyes.  
“what can I do then? you need to talk to me, baby.”

“m scared”.

jisung sat down across minho now, putting his hand onto the olders thigh, squeezing it lightly.

“why are you scared, baby?”

one of minho’s hands left his ear, grasping jisung’s hand on his leg.

“you wont touch me if I don’t want you to?”

jisung felt dread build up in his stomach. he felt a little nauseous.

“I wont do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

minho finally raised his head to look at jisung.  
“okay.”

neither of them said anything else.  
two fluffy ears slowly appeared on minho’s head.

once they were fully there, jisung felt minho slump into his seat a bit, the tension leaving his face.

“im so proud of you, baby.”

minho looked at him curiously, letting out a hum.

they sat in silence for a while. jisung reached up to stretch his shoulder a little.

through minho’s half open eyes, he only saw a hand coming closer to his head, letting out a yelp and flinching away from it, hitting his back against the desk.  
“no, hyung, please!” minho squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get the image of his brother out of his head.

jisung couldn’t move for a second, minho now laying on the floor, cowering away from him.

fuck, how are you supposed to react in a situation like this.

minho didn’t seem like he was aware of jisung slowly approaching him.

“baby? hey, lino, baby. you’re okay. you’re in the dorm, in your bedroom. we’re the only two in the room right now.  
can you look at me?”

but minho didn’t seem like he could hear him.

“I’m- I’m just gonna keep talking, okay?  
okay. uhm. remember how seungmin and changbin made us pancakes for breakfast yesterday? how binnie-hyung accidentally poured way too much honey on his? chan ended up switching pancakes with him out of pity. he really ended up eating the whole thing.  
maybe we can help with breakfast tomorrow, hmm? that sound good?”

jisung looked over to minho, who had by now stopped shaking and appeared to be listening to him.  
he took that as his cue to continue.

“you’re probably better at that than me. you know I can’t cook for shi- at all.”

he heard minho let out a small giggle.

“remember last time I tried helping felix bake? that was a disaster.  
I don’t think felix will ever let me help him again.  
maybe he’ll make us brownies again soon, hmm?”

minho was now leaning against the wall behind him, his eyes closed, but he didn’t seem panicked anymore.

“baby, can I come closer to you?”

minho shook his head a little.

“okay! yeah, no, that’s fine. yeah, I’ll just stay here. okay. great. uhm.  
want me to continue talking?”

at this, minho gave a small nod.

“okay. I can tell you about the last song I wrote with channie- and changbin-hyung?”  
when minho didn’t seem opposed to the idea, jisung started talking.

he was telling minho about their basic idea for the concept, the story they wanted to tell with the lyrics and the last changes they had made. he tried keeping it interesting, unsure of how much detail was too much. minho sometimes let out a hum, signaling that he was listening.

after a while, jisung felt his throat grow dry, his voice becoming scratchy, but he kept going anyway.

minho started shifting were he was sitting, slowly getting up on shaking legs, wobbling over to jisungs bed.  
jisung was still standing in the middle of the room awkwardly, not daring to move.

“thank you.”

“are you okay now?”  
standing still in his spot.

“yea.. sorry about that, I don’t know what came over me.”

jisung turned to face minho, not trying to move closer to him though.

“baby, it’s okay.”

“can we- uhm.”, even only through the slight light coming in from the hallways, jisung could see minho’s cheeks grow rosy with color.

“want do you want, hmm baby?” a small smile forming on his lips.

minho let out a small whine, hiding his face in his hands.

“don’t make me say it, sungie.”

letting out a small laugh, jisung to a careful step forward.

“you want cuddles?”

minho gave him a small nod.  
finally, jisung felt comfortable enough to sit down next to minho on his bed.

“okay. I’m gonna lay next to you now, yeah?”

“mhm”, minho’s voice was slightly muffled by the hands still in front of his face.

jisung quickly climbed over minho, making himself comfortable between the older and the wall behind him.

“can I touch you?”

minho turned around to face him, not looking in his eyes. a quick nod was all it took for jisung to finally wrap his arms around the other.

a content sigh left minho’s lips. the youngers warm arms around him were a familiar feeling by now, but it still made him feel so protected every time. it made him feel safe.  
curled up into the others chest, he didn’t mind having his cat ears out.

“sungie?”

“yeah, baby?”

“m sorry”

jisung ran his arms across minho’s back.  
“why are you sorry, baby?”

fuck. as embarrassed as it made minho feel, he loved when jisung called him baby.

“you don’t think im annoying?”

jisung squeezed minho’s waist lightly between his hands.  
“you’re not annoying, baby.”

“you don’t think I’m being childish?”

“showing your emotions isn’t being childish. it’s okay to cry. it’s okay to be scared. and it’s okay to need someone to hold you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop that last line was highkey directed at myself fnjrfnjc


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: there's some sexual content in this chapter; idk what yall classify as smut but i wouldnt call this smut? just in case that makes you uncomfprtable, it's between chanlix so you can skip that part (the second half of this chapter)  
> its NOT between minho and jisung  
> in case there ever will be, it will (obviously) not have minho's headspace in it  
> idk if i have to say this, but i'd rather make that clear now oop

minho fell asleep pretty quick.  
as tired as jisung was, he couldnt get himself to do the same, though.

a dreadful suspicion started building up in his mind.  
the way minho had reacted was more than just a little concerning.

jisung could only hope it wasn’t true, but he knew something must have happened in minho’s past to make him so… so scared?  
having minho flinch away from him made his stomach tie up in knots.

he wrapped his arms a little tighter around the other, pressing his nose into his hair, careful not to touch minho’s ears.

a small purr filled the silent room, but it was so faint, jisung decided it must be his tired mind making thing up.

minho felt… so fucking comfortable.  
he couldn’t remember the last time he had had his ears out for so long, and it felt so,,, refreshing? the usually ever-present headache was completely gone.  
added to the already bubbly feeling in his chest from being cuddled up so close to another person, it made him feel like he was in heaven.

his body had never felt so light. he was sure that, if jisung didn’t have his arms wrapped around him, he’d start floating.

he felt the need to move, but at the same time, he didn’t want to leave the warmth that was jisung’s embrace.

“sungie?”  
the younger shifter next to him, a low hum coming from him.  
“m hungry”

jisung yawned, stretching slightly before sitting up.

“hmm wanna go make pancakes, baby?” he grinned, tickling minho’s waist.  
minho squirmed out of the other’s embrace, high giggles falling from his lips.

“yeah! hurry sungie!”

“yeah yeah, calm down kitten”  
jisung laughed, helping minho unwrap himself from the blanket before getting up himself.

before they left the room, jisung made sure that minho hid his ears again.

in the kitchen, the stumbled upon chan, half asleep on the table.  
jisung quickly sat minho down, telling him he’d be back right away before going to get felix so the latter could come fetch his boyfriend.

once they had their privacy (as private as it gets in a dorm-kitchen), jisung scooped minho up in his arm, letting him sit on the kitchen counter as he searched for whatever ingredients they needed to make pancakes.

“uhhh what exactly do we need for pancakes baby?”

this made minho giggle. 

“yeah yeah, you just laugh! at least come help me then.” jisung fake pouted, helping minho off the counter again.

he had already gotten flour, milk and butter.

“what else do we need?”

minho lead jisung around the room, making the younger hold onto rest of the ingredients.

once they had everything, jisung let minho measure the flour and milk while he let the butter melt on the stove.

somehow, they managed to mix everything together without making to much of a mess.

“how’d we do so far, baby? pretty good huh” jisung grinned at minho, poking him in the side softly.

minho let out a small shriek.

“ticklish?” jisungs grin grew.  
he knew minho was, and if he didn’t love using that to his advantage.

grabbing minho’s waist, he started letting his fingers run across the others bare skin.

the high-pitched laugh must have alerted seungmin, who entered the kitchen a minute later.

at the sight of jisung tickling minho while the older tried squirming away from him, laughing and shrieking when jisung didn’t let him, seungmin couldn’t help but smile.

“what are you two up to this early already?”

minho turned to face seungmin, a grin on his face.  
“sungie’s making pancakes!” 

“and you’re helping him?” seungmin smiled at the other. it was good to see minho look so carefree once again.

“mhmm~”

“make sure to tell me when you’re done, so I can get everyone to eat together.”

\--

they did end up eating together. chan was still half asleep, leaning all his weight onto felix and making the younger cut his pancakes for him.

jisung let minho sit on his lap, to which minho grumbled something about jisung not having to treat him like a baby, but also not making any moves to get off.

seungmin sent them a knowing look. jisung didn’t really know what the younger was getting at, but he didn’t care enough to give him any mind.

later that day, chan dragged jisung into his room, telling the younger that he had found something he wanted to discuss with him.

“remember when you asked me about minho’s whole dissociating thing?”

jisung had almost forgotten about it. seeing minho acting that way felt almost normal to jisung by now.  
he quickly nodded, gesturing chan to continue.

“I found something online to that. uh I’m not quite sure if that’s exactly what’s going on with minho, I thought you might be able to, uh, recognize that better.”

“okay so uhm.  
have you ever heard of headspaces?”

“like, someone’s mindset?”

chan shook his head, patting the bed next to him for jisung to sit down.

“no it’s a little different? uhm so there are a bunch of different ones. in this context it’s more about being in a completely altered state of mind? it’s not really something you consciously decide. uhm. when minho slips into, uh, his headspace- what is he like?”

jisung furrowed his brow, unsure of how much would be okay for him to share.

“well, it kind of depends? usually he gets more carefree maybe? he gets all giggly and acts a little more childlike? but he still seems fully aware of his surrounding for the most part, except when it’s caused by panic or something. then he’s- it’s like he isn’t really there at all.”

chan hummed. 

“could that have anything to do with him being, you know- a hybrid?”  
jisung wasn’t entirely sure. while minho did seem to be acting more childlike sometimes, it didn’t entirely seem like he had the mindset of a kid.

“I didn’t find anything on that. maybe? like I told you before, cat hybrids do tend to crave a lot of affection.”

that made sense. minho had always enjoyed cuddles, even before all of this.

“I don’t think we really need to put a name on it. we should just try to get a basic understanding of what’s happening so we can help him better.”

felix entered the room in that moment. since they were basically finished with their conversation, jisung decided to give the two of them some time to themselves.

\--

chan had been missing spending time with felix.  
they did share a room, but with everything going on, they never really got to spend time together.

“wanna lock the door, baby?”

a glint appeared in felix eyes. he, too, had missed chan.

“I swear, if the kids interrupt us-“

chan let out a laugh.

“lix, you’re literally younger than half of them.”

felix stuck out his tongue at chan. he quickly changed into one of chan’s shirts, only leaving his boxers on besides that.

“so what do you wanna do?” he looked at chan expectantly.

the two had been messing around for a while before they finally decided to put a name on their relationship. calling chan his boyfriend still made butterflies dance around his stomach.

“I dunno baby. what do YOU wanna do?”

felix made himself comfortable on chan’s lap, his thighs around chan’s. he leaned up until their faces were mere inches apart.

“kiss me.”

warm hands were placed just beneath his jaw as he felt soft lips touch his own.

chan kept it soft, careful. he didn’t try to deepen the kiss.  
felix let out an annoyed whine at that, pulling chan closer to him.

the vibrations as chan laughed against his lips made felix feel lightheaded.

“feeling needy, huh little one?”

felix felt his face burn at the nickname. 

“hyung-”, feeling almost embarrassed by how whiny he sounded.

chan slowly started stroking across the younger’s thighs.  
felix leaned his head against chan’s chest, biting his lips to prevent any sounds from leaving his lips.

chan has assured him that he didn’t need to be embarrassed – that it was cute, even – about how easily he got worked up.

all chan had to do was touch him slightly for him to become a boneless mess.

“baby, how far do you wanna go?”

felix let out another whine. 

“baby I need words, or I’ll stop here.”

felix looked back up at chan. “I don’t care. just- just keep touching me. please.”

“tell me if you want to stop”.

“okay.”  
felix felt breathless already and chan had barely touched him so far.

chan’s hands rubbing along the sensitive skin of his inner thigh, the smell of his cologne. it made felix feel almost nervous. he felt his legs start to shake a little.  
even after all this time, chan was able to make felix feel like this with only a few simple touches.

suddenly, felix found himself lying on his back, staring up at chan.

the older leaned down, pressing another soft kiss against felix lips before moving further down, kissing along the younger’s jaw and down his neck.

“hhh hyung!” felix couldn’t stop the noise from leaving his mouth as chan lightly bit down on a particularly sensitive spot. he let his hands get tangled in chan’s hair, unsure of whether to pull the other away or press him closer.

he felt chan grin against his neck before the older started sucking on that spot, making felix arch his back to press closer to the older.

“hgn chris! fuck, you know you cant leave marks!”, his voice a little shaky.  
as much as it sucked, they knew they couldn’t risk anyone seeing them, so they usually restricted themselves to beneath the collarbones.

but chan ignored him, licking over the now red spot on felix’s neck.

chan put his hands around felix’s hips, pressing him down onto the bed and keeping him in place.

“fuck you look so good in my shirt.”

felix grinned at the older. “you better not c//m in pants just from looking at me”  
he tried not to laugh at the face chan made, but he couldn’t hold it in.

“I’m sorry! I was joking” 

chan slipped his hand underneath felix’s shirt, letting it ghost over the younger’s soft skin.  
“yeah yeah, don’t go ruin the mood”, but he couldn’t suppress the smile on his lips.

“can I take this off?” he asked, pushing the fabric of felix’s shirt up a little higher.

the faint blush decorating felix’s cheeks grew a little darker, as he gave chan a small nod.

“I need words, baby.”

“yes please”, his voice sounded embarrassingly needed in his ears.

he let out a little gasp as the cold air hit his bare skin.

but it was soon replaced with chan’s hands roaming across his chest.

the older started planting kisses all over his skin, making it tingle. 

“you’re so beautiful”

felix felt the need to hide his face behind his hands.  
“hyung-“, his voice coming out more like a whine.

felix tried to suppress it, but he couldn’t stop a yawn escaping him.

“hmm you tired little one?”

yeah, he was pretty fucking exhausted, but he didn’t want chan to stop touching him.

“wanna just cuddle for a bit?”

felix guessed that was fine too, making room for chan to lay down next to him.

“tomorrow we can- if you want to.” his cheeks burning as he said it.

“yeah, if you still want to by then.”

chan pressed a kiss to felix’s forehead, pulling a blanket around them both, letting felix cuddle up to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh no idea if that was any good,,, there was also like no reason for me to include this plot-wise but i just felt like it??
> 
> the limit amount of sexual experience i've had so far was with a girl so uhhh?  
> but i mean, foreplay shouldnt be too different???? idk djehdkaugf


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idkkk how to feel about this chapter? i kinda struggled with it, welp.  
> uh yeah, i have way less time to write now so i'm sorry if updates start coming slower.  
> i'll try to still update as much as i can since i dont really have many exams but i have three huge assignments coming up so we'll see
> 
> i'll try to not leave yall on a cliff hanger for too long? i dont really know how i'm gonna finish this story jdhhdbdhwdb

over the next few days, minho started feeling more comfortable letting his ears out around jisung.

the younger had assured him that the other’s wouldn’t react negatively if minho finally felt up to telling them, but something in the back of his mind made minho feel uneasy about the whole idea.

“maybe.”

jisung didn’t push him, always trying to make minho feel as comfortable as possible.

slowly, their schedules were starting to return to normal and for once, minho didn’t mind it.  
he didn’t feel agonizingly exhausted after a day of practice, as he was used to from just weeks before. the burning in his muscles wasn’t satisfying in the sense it had been before. now it made him feel free, before he felt it was the only thing keeping him on the ground.

he’d still feel himself slipping into the weird feeling of floating. while it was comfortable it also scared him a little. whenever that happened, he lost control of the way he acted.  
jisung told him it was cute, but he’d rather describe it as annoying.

so, he’d try to keep himself from slipping whenever he felt that feeling build up. it wasn’t his best idea, but he hated not being in control.

\--

he was currently lying on jisungs bed, face to face with the younger, listening to him ramble on about a new song idea.  
he really tried to listen! he did. the younger getting all exited about something like this was absolutely adorable. but minho had practically no idea what jisung was talking about, the younger diving into so much detail that minho could barely keep up with him.

he let his eyes slip shut, the noise of jisungs almost shrill voice somehow soothing as the younger kept on talking.

he only noticed jisung had stopped talking when he felt warm hands cupping his face, tilting minho’s head up slightly. jisung’s face was right in front of his, the younger smiling down at him.

his (cat) ear twitched slightly, unsure whether the younger felt hurt by the fact minho hadn’t been paying attention that what he’d been saying.

“omg hyung! I never noticed you had freckles!”  
while they were faint, now that jisung was looking at minho from so up close, he could see the slightly darker dots littering the other’s face.

minho felt his cheeks grow a bit warmer from jisung’s intense eyes running across his face.

the younger started tracing his finger along minho’s nose, to his cheeks and across his temples, making minho go lax. 

jisung let his other hand run through minho’s hair again.

as he started shifting around a bit, trying to get more comfortable next to minho, he accidently brushed against the base of minho’s right (cat) ear.

minho let out a yelp, his eyes springing open, before rolling back into his head for a second.

fuck, it’s been so long since anyone had touched them without the intention of hurting him.

minho himself hadn’t touched them in years.

and he had forgotten how fucking good it felt.  
even just the slight second the younger’s finger had come into contact with the soft fur of his ear left a burning sensation, making him crave more.

“fuck im sorry! I didn’t mean to-“  
jisung was about to pull his hand away, when minho’s wrapped around his wrist, keeping it in place.

“please”. minho’s voice was small, not much more than a whisper.

as fucking terrified minho had been of letting anyone near his ears again, now that he had felt the warm touch of another human against his starved skin, he needed more.

jisung slowly let his hand return to minho’s ear. it twitched slightly at the contact, but minho just pressed his head further into jisung’s hand.

he hadn’t noticed himself start to shake until jisung laid his hand onto minho’s thigh, rubbing soothing circles into the skin.

the younger started lightly stroking across the bottom of minho’s ears, just where they emerged from his head.

a low rumble emerged from minho’s chest.  
fuck, was he purring?

minho let his eyes close, pressing his head into the youngers hands.

that felt fucking amazing.

he felt boneless, unable to hold himself up any longer without leaning against jisung.

he didn’t notice the soft noises leaving his lips, too caught up in the feeling.

“that feels good, huh?”, jisung giggled, his arms beginning to fall asleep from minho’s added weight on him.

once the tingling in his arms became a little painful, he readjusted them so that minho was now curled up on his side, with his head in jisung’s lap.

the younger didn’t stop running his hand through the other’s hair, lightly scratching at minho’s ears, until the low purring was replaced with light snores.

looking at minho’s sleeping form, he couldn’t help but admirer the other’s soft featured.  
the freckles he had just discovered minutes earlier stuck out to him now, decorating minho’s slightly rosy cheeks, spreading across his nose. 

fuck, jisung was so fucking whipped.

he let his fingers ghost over the soft fur of minho’s ears.

just weeks earlier, he had been so oblivious to all this going on.  
he still wondered how he hadn’t noticed earlier.  
it seemed so obvious to him now.

minho was just… so cat-like.

jisung thought back to their dance practice earlier that day.

whenever the older danced, he seemed so entirely… himself?  
his moves were sharp, but more so they were smooth, fluid and carefully exact.

like a cat, jisung chuckled.

minho’s apparent hate for skinship, but him still sneaking into jisung’s bed practically every day in search for cuddles and the younger’s warmth.

he wondered how he could have missed it.

jisung leaned down, pressing a soft kiss on minho’s nose.  
minho scrunched up his face unconsciously at that.

jisung let his fingers grace over minho’s face, letting his thumb stroke over a small scar on minho’s cheek.

he realized then how much he still didnt know about the boy lying in his lap.   
so much he had never payed enough attention to to notice.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry that updates will start coming in way slower now- i have so much sh t to do for school *cries*  
> i'll still try to update as much as i can

that Saturday, jeongin decided they were going to have another movie night. and who were they to refuse their maknae.

felix had ended up choosing the movie. Mulan once again. no one dared to complain tho, or else they’d have to listen to felix rant about what a masterpiece that the movie was.

minho had ended up sitting between jisung and changbin.  
as much as he was being squeezed together, it felt comfortable being engulfed by two warm bodies.

halfway through the movie, minho caught himself start start to slip.

fuck.

he bit down on his cheek, the iron-y taste filling.

usually that brought him back to reality. but now, it made him feel like he was slipping faster.

“sungie-“

jisung whipped his head around at minho’s distressed voice.

the sight of minho with his eyes screwed shut, teeth digging into his lips, made jisung jump up from where he was sitting.  
“hey, baby, can you look at me? what’s wrong?”

but minho just squeezed his eyes shut tighter.  
jisung calling him baby usually made him feel warm inside, but right now, it made him feel like it was forcing him further into his head.  
“don’t call me that, please”  
he sounded almost desperate, trying to stop himself from losing control.

“lino- what’s going on? wanna tell me, hmm?”

the hand changbin had placed on his thigh earlier started to feel heavy.  
he grasped it in his own, digging his nails into it. 

it hurt a bit, but changbin didn’t dare to move.

no one knew what the fuck was wrong, and it was terrifying.

minho’s lip had started to bleed by now.

jisung didn’t know what he should do and he was starting to freak out.

“hey now, lino-“ prying minho’s hand from away from where it was digging into chagbin’s, taking it into his own.  
“baby, you need to tell me whats wrong so I can help you”

minho looked close to tears, but he was finally looking at jisung.

“my mind- I don’t know, sungie! I don’t know what’s happening. but my mind is growing fuzzy again and I don’t want to- to slip!”

oh. oh, minho also had no idea about his headspace, just like jisung a few days ago.

jisung sent chan a glance, his eyes begging the older for help.

chan shooed felix off his lap before sitting down next to jisung.

“your- uhm. your headspace is nothing scary, min. you can let yourself go, nothing will happen. if your- if your mind wants you to slip-“

but minho cut him off, shaking his head aggressively.  
“no! I don’t want to- to start acting like that again!”

“acting like what, kitten?”

“like a child!  
every time i- … slip?  
I lose control over how I act! it’s all fuzzy and I hate it!”

jisung saw minho’s eyes focus and unfocus again, droplets of bl00d tripling down minho’s chin as he dug his teeth harder into his lip.  
with the hand that wasn’t currently holding minho’s hand, he softly cupped the others cheek, letting his thumb run across the smooth skin.  
“lino- come on, stop- you’re hurting yourself.  
just let go, it’s okay baby. I’m here, yeah?”

he felt minho shift, trying to move away from him.  
a whimpered left his lips.  
“I can’t-“

jisung looked around him. the others were frozen still, not daring to move. they felt just as helpless as he did right now.

“baby- I’ll pick you up, okay? we can go to our room, does that sound better? no one else will see you. and we can just cuddle a bit, hmm?”

a small nod from minho was all it took for jisung to scoop the older up into his arms, carrying him away from the prying eyes into the safety of their room.

“what the fuck just happened?”

chan walked back over to where he had been sitting before, letting felix crawl back into his lap.  
“changbin-“

“no, he’s right, hyung. I think you owe us an explanation.” hyunjin looked a little frustrated.

chan knew they must all feel that way.  
after all, they had been completely left in the dark about everything going on with minho.

“jisung and I aren’t entirely sure either- what you saw just now… remember how minho sometimes seems not entirely there? all giggly and clinging to jisung?”

he felt felix nod against his chest.

“it’s not really just a change of moods. it’s something called a ‘headspace’. we don’t really know exactly what it’s like for minho, and I think it’s pretty obvious now that he doesn’t either.”

seungmin let out a hum of confirmation.  
“yeah, last time he and jisung were making breakfast, he seemed different. a bit child-like?”

chan nodded. “yeah, that’s what jisung said too. I don’t think I can tell you anything else though. i- I don’t know what just happened either.”

“jisung will help him, though, right?”

“we’ll just have to hope he can figure out what’s wrong.”

\--  
jisung carried minho into their room. his hands wouldn’t stop trembling. he hoped the older would feel safe enough to let himself slip now that they had their privacy.

“baby? “

he found minho’s eyes start looking a bit dazed again, before the older seemed to shake himself out of it.

“baby, please. it’s okay. it’s just the two of us now, okay?”

“sungie I dont- I don’t want to slip”

“why not, kitten? you don’t need to be scared, I’m here okay? just let go” 

minho held onto jisung tighter. “I’m not- that’s not it. I don’t want to.. to start acting like that again. it’s embarrassing. and its fucking weird.”

“it’s not weird, hyung.”  
jisung wanted to tell minho that it was cute, but that probably wouldn’t help at the moment.

“you don’t need to be embarrassed by it. it’s not weird, baby. you mind needs to be able to relax sometimes, too.”

“you never act like this.”

fuck, what was he supposed to say now? there wasn’t really any ways he could convince minho to let himself fall into his headspace if the elder didn’t want to.

“well, I have other coping mechanisms, and they’re really not healthy.”  
it was true. he would pull several all-nighters until his body got so exhausted that he physically couldn’t keep going.

minho seemed to let himself finally relax more into jisungs arms.

“just let it go, kitten.”

taking in a deep breath, minho tried to focus on the hand running though his hair.  
the fuzzy feeling started growing. he felt the need to fight against it, but jisungs soft whispers helped him to let it wash over him.

jisung felt minho lean against him further, the other going limp I his arms as he continued to whisper sweet nothings into his ear.

the short silence was replaced by a small giggle.

“hmmm baby, what’s so funny?”

fuck, jisung felt relieved. 

“tickles”

ah, right. jisung face was still pressed close to the others.

“wanna cuddle now, kitten?”  
but minho shook his head.

“no? what do you wanna do then, baby?”

“wanna go back to the others”. minho was slightly slurring the words.

“baby, are you sure?”  
jisung was a little scared that minho would force himself back out of headspace if they left the bedroom.

“sungie!” minho whined. “wanna go”.

jisung felt his resolve crumble.

“alright. come on kitten. but tell me if you want to go back here, promise?”

minho giggled against his neck. “promise”.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for not updating the past 2?? days.
> 
> school literally is killing me rn and im just one week in oof
> 
> so yeah, i'll try to keep this story going as much as i can but please excuse the lack of updates
> 
> also idk if this chapter is any good,,, apologies if i disappointed you fhhdjshs idk this is my first time writing anything thats more than like 1k words so,,, i wouldnt exactly call myself talented or 'good' when it comes to writing

jisung carried minho back into the living room. the others seemed just as surprised by it as he had first been when minho had asked him to go back outside.

“jisung- what are you doing back here?”  
didn’t jisung just carry him out of the room because minho had been freaking out about slipping in front of the others?

“channie!”  
the cheerfule tone to minho’s voice caught them a little off guard.

“hey baby~”  
felix made room for minho to cuddle into chan next to him, sending jisung a questioning glance.

“uh- yeah, minho wanted to see you guys?”

chan was a little taken aback, but he guessed it was a good thing that minho trusted them enough to let them see him in his headspace.  
he smiled down at minho on his lap, felix clinging onto him so they both could be cuddled up to chan.  
“hmm baby, you wanna spend some time with us?”

“mmm~”

the others had maybe had glimpses of minho in his headspace before, but this still felt new to them. and fuck, minho was really fucking cute.

felix wrapped his arms tighter around minho. “was jisung too boring?” he grinned.  
jisung let out a dramatic gasp, smiling as chan started softly running his hair through minho’s hair.

“wanna continue watching Mulan? we haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.” felix continued.

“mhmm~  
sungie?”

“yeah baby?”

minho giggled into chan’s chest before looking back and jisung.

“sungie, cuddles?”

jisung made his way over to him, but chan put his hand up before jisung reached them.  
“wait- i’ll suffocate if you also come sit on me!”

“sure sure, mr. strong leader”, looking over to felix “now scoot. my baby wants cuddles”.

felix only tightened his arms around minho, not giving jisung any chance. 

hyunjin and jeongin had also started making their way over to where chan was sitting, a playful glint in their eyes.  
“group hug?”

“no no no, don’t even think abou-“  
but chan was cut off by jeongin jumping onto him, careful not to put any weight on minho.  
jisung managed to squeeze in between felix and minho before someone else – hyunjin – made themselves comfortable on him.  
“fhshfsk oof get you fat ass off me!”   
but hyunjin just laughed, cuddling up closer into him.

changbin and seungmin had by now also made their way over to the rest of them, also somehow squeezing onto the couch.

as much as they enjoyed being cuddled up together, chan was actually starting to feel his legs completely all asleep – not the exactly most comfortable feeling.  
changbin took pity on him on him and went to sit down besides chan, pulling seungmin and jisung with him.

minho just giggled at his member’s beahvious, making them all smile at him. seungmin reacher over jisung to softly tickle minho under his chin. minho pulled away at first – ticklish as always – but leaned back into the touch soon after, letting his eyes slip close.   
jisung was glad he didn’t start purring – surprising by the looks of minho right now, seemingly not falling over only because of the strong arm chan had wrapped around him – because there really was no way to explain it without revealing minho’s secret to the others.

“alright.. who’s gonna get up and turn the movie back on?”

silence.

“felix you do it.”

“why me? why cant you do it, jisung?”

jisung shook his head, poking minho’s side to get his attention.  
he leaned close to minho to whisper something in his ear, intentionally loud enough so the others could still hear him. “baby, tell felix to go turn on the movie”.

felix looked almost offended, opening his mouth to argue, but minho grinned at him, “lix~ sungie wants you to turn on the movie”, oblivious to jisung teasingly grinning at felix.

felix stuck out his tongue at jisung before getting up. “hmm if that’s what our baby wants~” he sang-song, making minho giggle and hide his face in chan’s chest.

jisung still looked a little jealous of chan for having minho cuddled up to him, but he was endlessly relieved to see minho so comfortable around the others.

when chan started running his hand through minho’s hair again minho let himself become completely boneless against the older.

“baby~ you tired?”

minho let out a soft whine, before shaking his head.

“sungie?”

jisung let minho grab his hand, squeezing it slightly while rubbing his thumb soothingly across it. he couldn’t help but admire how soft it felt. while jisung himself didn’t have the biggest hands, minho’s felt so small in his own. the realization made him feel an urge of protectiveness wash over him.  
“yea, baby?”

jisung pulled minho off chan’s lap into his own, making minho giggle and let out a high-pitched shriek.

the others smiled at the two of them. seeing jisung take care of their second oldest was relieving after the last couple of weeks.  
and minho was also just really fucking cute.

the movie was still playing in the background, but someone had gotten up to mute the TV at some point.

minho was cuddled into jisung, still half sitting on chan because of the lack of space for all of them on the one couch.

“sungie?”

jisung hummed, cupping minho’s face in his hands, stroking over the other’s temples with his thumbs.

“you wont leave me?”

“why would I ever leave you, kitten?”

minho leaned further into the touch, closing his eyes.

“hmm~”

but jisung had a bad feeling about that question, so he didn’t want to let it go too easily.  
“why do you think I’d ever want to leave you, baby?”

minho shook his head – as well as he could while jisung was still holding it in his hands.  
“mom and dad-“  
at that, minho’s mind seemed to grow a bit clearer, and he cut himself off before he could say anything further. his eyes flew open for a second and he tried to shift away from jisung and chan which resulted on him almost falling on the ground in front of the couch.  
had it not been for felix’s quick reaction, he most definitely would have hit his head in the small table standing just a meter away from them.

“hey, careful baby.”

now that he wasn’t as far in his headspace anymore, he felt himself grow embarrassed by the pet name. 

“m not”.

minho by now was standing just in front of jisung, so the younger took his opportunity and pulled minho back onto his lap. the older protested at first – half-heartedly, because as much as he liked to pretend he hated hugs and comforting touches, cuddling with jisung (or any of his members, really) was the best feeling in the world. so he let jisung wrap his arms around him easily, feeling himself being pulled back deeper into the floaty feeling.

but the constant slipping in and out of headspace of that day made him feel incredibly dissy.

he let out a small whimper, clinging onto jisungs shirt.

“hey~ baby, are you okay?”

he felt a little nauseous – for once not because of anxiety or panic.   
“dizzy”, he croaked out.

shit, was his health starting to spiral again?

seungmin made his way to the kitchen, looking for a glass of water for minho.

“here baby, this might help.”  
he helped minho put the glass up to his lips, tilting his head back slightly to let the cold water flow down his throat.   
minho muttered a quiet thanks, leaning back against jisung. his body felt heavy and his muscles weak. 

“baby, do you want to go back to bed?”  
but minho shook his head, burying his face in jisungs neck. the younger’s scent helped calm his racing head. 

“no? you sure? it’s okay if you do, we can spend more time with the others later”. jisung tried keeping his voice as soft as possible. his chest felt painfully constricted. minho didn’t seem to be sick again, but he was still worried.

minho felt limp in his arms, and he wasn’t quite sure if that was a good thing at the moment.  
“baby, wanna look at me for a second?”

but minho shook his head against jisungs neck.

“promise you feel okay?”

“m okay, s’ngie”.

felix by now was back on chans lap, seemingly starting to fall asleep too. looking to the other side, jisung found seungmin now cuddled up to hyunjin, both of them struggling to keep their eyes open.

“baby the bed will be far more comfortable, hmm?”

“don’ wanna leave” minho straight up whined.

a soft chuckled left jisungs lips, before making himself as comfortable as possible surrounded by so many people.

he continued to run his hand through minho’s hair even as he felt the others breaths even out against his neck.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for not updating, school has been draining me mentally. idk i havent even really done anything so far and i feel like all my energy and motivation to do anything had left my body ddksdjaldj
> 
> also this chapter lowkey sucks i think cuz im just hella projecting,, consider this a rant in fanfiction- form

when minho woke up, his whole body felt stiff, his shoulders sore, but there was something warm and soft underneath him.  
his mind still felt a bit mushy. a right. he had … slipped? as chan had called it. he slipped in front of everyone.

his cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

fuck, he, the second oldest, had been taken care of by his members as if he was some sort of child.

jisung was still asleep underneath him, and so were the rest of his members.

he wiggled his way out of the youngers arms, making his way to the kitchen.

the dizziness had mostly faded by now, but his movements still felt slower than usual.  
even though he had spent the whole night – and evening – cuddled up to at least one person all the time, his body craved touch. his skin felt itchy. but he didn’t want to give into it again.

he still felt weird about the whole thing.

it couldn’t be normal. no matter what jisung said, no matter what anyone said, minho hated slipping – or at least that’s what he was trying to convince himself of.  
his chest felt heavy. his whole body felt heavy.

he felt like his legs were about to give in underneath him. not because of exhaustion or because he was actually feeling weak. he felt heavy, like something was dragging him to the ground.

apparently feeling like that was not normal? he remembered talking about that feeling with a friend a few years ago, back when he’d feel this way every day. his friend had told him that, no, they didn’t know what he was talking about, and no, this wasn’t something everyone experienced.

as much as he should have, minho had never seen a therapist. not about this and certainly not about his whole… family situation?

he knew it was ridiculous, but he felt almost embarrassed about the things that had happened to him.  
it WAS embarrassing… logically he knew it wasn’t. he knew if it had been anyone else, he wouldn’t think they should be embarrassed about this.

but whenever he tried opening up, something in his mind stopped him.

they would think he’s disgusting. they’d maybe even laugh at him.

‘abuse’? it hadnt really been abuse, had it? he hadn’t really been hurt – physically. not actively at least, besides…  
but that didn’t count.

it was already 9, way too late for him to still feel like this, and way too early to already feel like this.  
did that make sense? no. fuck. everything just felt wrong.

he thought it was over – feeling like this.  
lately, now with him having found someone in jisung he could trust, he had been feeling good. mostly.

at least he didn’t ever feel like this again.

but now it was back.  
and he didn’t know why.

his head started to hurt again. but not the usual migraine he’d get.

it felt like his thoughts were running wild in his head. 

his ears were ringing, but not from actual noise, more so from the silence suffocating him.  
and it was almost worse. no. it WAS worse.  
because there’s nothing he could do about it besides wait until this feeling passed again.

he wanted to go back and just fucking sleep again. but something kept him from doing so. maybe it was the pressure behind his eyes. a physical pain caused by all the insults his brain was throwing at him.

he decided to just try and distract himself. great idea, minho. just run away from your problems forever.  
but there really wasn’t anything else he could do.

maybe he could at least do something for the others?  
so he settled on preparing breakfast again.

he remembered the last time.  
hyunjin had said that chan had cooked breakfast again after, so they must have not liked his cooking.

should he just try again?  
pancakes shouldn’t be too hard, right?  
maybe he just fucked them up last time. he’d probably get them right this time.

just like last time, once minho finished cooking, he set the table and made his way back to bed – or this time the living room.

the others were all still fast asleep, so minho tried his best to wiggle into jisungs arms again without waking him.

once the warmth embraced him, he felt the buzzing feeling fade away. his eyes slid closed and he let himself fall limp against the younger.

\--

he woke up to a hand running through his hair – fuck he’d never get tired of that. it made his eyes flutter closed immediately after opening them again.

what did pull him out of his warm daze was rather shrill voice from the kitchen.  
“which one of you fuckers made pancakes AGAIN?”

shit, was that a bad thing?  
but they all liked pancakes normally, didn’t they-

his eyes flew open. his head was too wrapped up in - well - overthinking, that he didn’t hear the giggled that followed right after.

maybe he should just go throw them away? just sad for the ingredients he’d wasted.

jisung let him wiggle out of his arms without much protest. “baby~”. his voice was whiny, but his eyes were still half closed, and he didn’t seem awake enough to really move at all.

when minho got to the kitchen table, he saw changbin sitting down already, cutting off a piece of one of the pancakes on the plate in front of him.

“sorry- they’re probably not that good.”

changbin noticed his presence at that, looking at him confused.  
“what do you mean?”

minho tilted his head slightly. “the pancakes? I heard you uh complain?”

“what- no wait, I was joking!”

but minho was already reaching over to take the plate away.

“hey, min, wait.” he grabbed minho wrist softly, making the older finally look at him.  
“I didn’t mean it, k? I just said it because we’ve been having pancakes so often lately, baby.”

“’s okay, I know they weren’t good last time either.”

changbin saw jisung and chan half dragging themselves into the kitchen, but he didn’t pay them any attention.  
“what do you mean? when you and jisung made breakfast for us?”

that caught jisung attention. he walked over to the two of them, leaving chan hanging awkwardly in the door frame.

“what you talking about?” he grinned, wrapping his arm around minho’s waist.  
“my incredible talent for cooking?”

changbin tried to give him a small smile, but right now he couldn’t stop himself from frowning.

minho shook his head at changbins earlier question.  
“no. no I didn’t even really do anything then.”

“when chan cooked breakfast for you guys because mine wasn’t good.”

jisungs hand left his waist as the younger glanced over from changbin to chan.  
“what-“

he found chan with a frown on his face, the older finally also making his way over to them.

“min- what are you talking about?”

minho tilted his head.  
were they pretending not to know as not to embarrass him? maybe they didn’t know hyunjin had told him.  
his stomach was forming painful knots at the memory. it had hurt to hear that.

“it’s okay. if I didn’t taste good you shouldn’t have to force yourselves to eat it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes very much my own mental health talking in this-
> 
> also yes im still hung up over that pancake thing so yall gonna have to deal with me resolving that shit because uh i might just still be hung up over old misunderstandings from my own life so i am PROJECTING thank you


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lowkey just me comforting myself in this chapter so idk if its any good jfiojojlosc
> 
> also literally how is this chapter 20 already----  
> i never thought i'd ever write anything this long

(“it’s okay. if I didn’t taste good you shouldn’t have to force yourselves to eat it.”)

he couldn’t look at them.  
so he didn’t see the concerned looks they were exchanging.

“baby, we never- you think we’d throw away food you made for us?”

he did look up at jisung now.  
“well, yeah, if it’s bad”

chan tried his best to think of the last time he had cooked breakfast. he knew he wouldn’t have thrown away food any of the kids had made just to restart it.

“when did that happen?”

minho felt almost ridiculous. were they making fun of him? or did they genuinely just not remember?

“a few weeks ago? after my- uh, health issues first started”

out of the corner of his eye, chan saw seungmin dragging a still half-asleep hyunjin over to them, making him sit down before almost force feeding him a piece of pancake.

chan looked at them, cooing at hyunjin half falling onto the table whenever seungmin let go of him to reach for more syrup, before returning his attention to minho.  
he thought back to the day minho was talking about.

“I didn’t cook breakfast- I thought one of you guys did?” he asked jisung.  
“it was already prepared when I came to the kitchen..”

hyunjin looked over to them. “wha’you guys talkin about?”, his voice a little rough from sleep.

minho shook his head at him. “it’s really stupid. it’s not important. you told me chan had cooked breakfast because mine wasn’t good.”  
jisung whipped his head over to hyunjin, opening his mouth, but hyunjin cut him off. his eyes were blown wide, seemingly finally gaining the strength to support his own weight as he jumped to his feet. “WHAT? I never said- I just told you that chan had made us breakfast!”

minho titled his head. “well, yeah. but I had made pancakes before that, so if chan-“

“you made them?”

minho let out a scoff. “this is ridiculous. it really doesn’t matter. I don’t care”.  
it had hurt him when hyunjin had first told him. he didn’t even know why. maybe it was some hybrid thing, wanting to please and take care of your family members?  
he didn’t know.  
but it didnt bother him anymore, right-  
this was such a small thing, he didn’t understand why the others were making such a big deal about it NOW.

jisungs warm hand stroked over his cheek, and as much as minho wanted to play cold and unbothered, he couldn’t help leaning into the touch.

“we didn’t throw any food away, kitten.”

before minho could say anything, jisung started stroking his thumb over his cheek bone, making his eyes slip shut and his head go empty.

“we just assumed chan had made it, because he had been the first person to get up – besides you. and he apparently assumed one of us did it. so when hyunjin told you chan had made breakfast for us, he didn’t mean we threw away your food. he just thought it had been chan who made it”.

oh. oh shit- that made sense.

“oh.”

jiusng cupped minhos face into both of his hands. “baby, we love you so much, yeah?”

minho hummed, soaking up the soft touch.

“hey, look at me baby”.

but minho kept his eyes shut. he almost felt like he couldn’t physically open them. his brain felt mushy. he knew that feeling all too well by now. and as much as he sometimes felt opposed to the idea of ‘slipping’ he really wanted to just let go right now.

he soft finger lightly poking his cheek brought him back to reality. he looked at jisung before letting his eyes slip closed again.

even just the few seconds minho’s eyes had been open, jisung could tell that minho was starting to slip into his headspace by how dazed and out of it he looked.

last night minho had asked to spend time with the others, but right now jisung felt it would be best for them to have some privacy. not only because of minho’s headspace, but also because jisung just remembered that it had been a while since minho changed into his hybrid form.

“leave us some pancakes for later, will you?” he turned to chan, before going to pick up minho.

he didn’t know if he had grown stronger in the past weeks from carrying minho around so much, but the older felt so light in his arms.   
so small.

fuck, jisung never wanted to let him go.

minho hadn’t entirely slipped into his headspace yet, but even so he felt content letting himself be carried to their room by jisung.

“hyung!“  
he let out a high-pitched shriek when jisung dropped him on the bed.

jisung froze. “what did you just call me-“

minho’s eyes flew open, his cheeks becoming bright red. “shit- sorry, forget that happened! I didn’t mean to say that”.

jisung’s face softened. “hey, baby don’t worry. it’s okay.”  
he sat down next to minho, pulling the other onto his lap.

minho hid his face in the youngers neck, his cheeks still burning.

“baby, do you wanna let you ears out? it’s been a while”.

a shiver ran over his spine before two fluffy ears appeared on minho’s head.

“can you-“

jiusng let his hand move up to minho’s head, looking at him to ask if he was okay with this. when minho gave him a small nod, he started running it through the others hair, occasionally scratching across minho’s ears.

“fuck”   
jisung felt minho grow boneless against him, a soft vibration from the others chest against his own, as a light rumbling noise filled the room.

“baby, you know we would never just throw away something you made for us.”

minho hummed softly, not bothering to even open his eyes. jisungs hand in his hair felt way too soothing, he really didn’t want to risk it stopping.

“kitten, can you look at me?”

a small whine left minho’s mouth, but the hand never stopped scratching at his scalp. 

he looked up to jisung with half-opened eyes. he felt like his head was surrounded by cotton. everything was a little muffled, comfortingly so. 

jisung was smiling softly at him. “baby, I mean it, yeah? we appreciate everything you do for us. we would never just throw it away.”

“hmm”. minho felt like he wouldn’t be able to talk even if he tried. the hand petting his hair and ears felt painfully good. he felt the urge to lean into it further, but his body didn’t want to listen to him.

his eyes slid close again, the rumbling from his chest growing louder.

he heard jisung let out a small chuckle, before the others other hand joined the one already in minho’s hair, making minho absolutely lose his fucking mind.

“oh fuck”, his eyes rolled back. if he had known it would feel like this, he would have had told jisung about his secret way earlier just for the younger to pet him.

small content noises left his lips, making jisung grin. 

minho’s hands were twisted into jisungs shirt, clinging onto the other and leaning all his weight onto him.

“that feel good?”

minho could hear the amusement in jisungs voice, but he couldn’t care less right now. because yes, fuck, it felt so fucking good.  
and minho knew jisung knew that as well. if not only by minho’s expression or his boneless form hanging onto him, then at the very least by the soft purring from minhos chest.

minho could have just sat there forever, with jisungs hands running across his scalp.  
but – in his opinion – way too quickly, the younger stopped.

minho opened one eye to look at him, letting out a sound of disapproval and to ask the other ‘why did you stop?’.

jisung smiled at him apologetically. “sorry, baby. if I keep going like this my hands are gonna cramp up”.

“hmm”. even though jisung had stopped, the purring sound coming from minho didn’t. neither did the floaty feeling. he didn’t feel like he was actually in his headspace, but probably right on the edge.

and jisung seemed to know that, too.  
the younger wrapped his arms back around him, pushing his face closer into his chest. minho felt a little squished but he wouldn’t dare complain. not when he felt this comfortable. this warm. and so safe and protected.

while he was technically a little taller than jisung, engulfed in the younger’s arms like this, he felt so … small.

“hey kitten~” jisung giggled at him. minho tried pressing even closer to the other. “baby, youre gonna crush me to death”. but minho could tell by his tone that the younger wasn’t actually in pain – which minho always wanted to be sure of.

“sungie”, his voice sounded whiny and a little slurred.

“hmm baby?”   
minho felt jisung run a hand across his back, to his shoulders and back down again.

“mm you wanna know something~”. minho giggled, wiggling around in jisungs embrace.

jisung cooed at him. now he was sure minho had finally slipped into his headspace.

“hm sure kitten, what is it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe a little embarrassing but when i wrote that last part i spent maybe 10 minutes thinking about wtf minho is even gonna tell jisung hdddhksp pls
> 
> anyways find out in the next chapter ig


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger last chapter jdkhdkdd but i tried my best to get this one out fast so you wouldnt be left waiting for long----
> 
> idk i hate writitng cliffhangers, not just because i'll leave yall waiting but also because the "reveal" or whatever might be really disappointing oop
> 
> so yeah, idk if this chapter is good but yk, its mostly me comforting myself again????? kinda??? at leats me projecting

(“mm you wanna know something~”  
“sure kitten, what is it?”)

minho giggled softly against jisungs neck.  
“baby~”.

minho sits up, grabbing jisung by the shoulders and looking him directly in the face. his smile was still there, just a little less bright.

“you’re the first person who ever let me cuddle with them since my parents-”. 

jisung felt his heart sink at that, but he tried not to show it.

“hmm I’m sure your parents cuddled you plenty then”, he tried his best smiling at the other, lightly poking his sides.

minho tilted his head to the side (yes this might have become a habit by now).  
“mm haven’t seen them in years”, looking at jisung as if that should have been obvious.

what- fuck, what was he talking about? 

“because you were a trainee here? baby, couldn’t you have visited them?”  
he had a bad feeling about this. 

minho gigged a little. “sungie~ you’re funny”.

jisung stared at him, trying to understand what minho was trying to tell him. having a talk like this while he was in his headspace certainly wasn’t the most cohesive or easy, but jisung suspected that this would be the only way minho would ever willingly talk about this.

“baby, what are you talking about?”

minho seemed like he was about to answer, when jisung saw his eyes grow even more dazed.

“d’nno”.

weird.

his eyes were unfocused, before a child-like glint appeared and minho grinned at him.

“baby, you still with me?”  
minho didn’t seem to be paying attention. jisung poked his cheek, trying to get him to look at him again. “you in there, kitten?”

“hy’ng~”. minho’s voice was whiny and slurred, and jisung felt like his heart was about to explode. he couldt help the high-pitched shriek that came out of his mouth.   
if minho had been cute before then jisung was going to die now, because OOF.

minho was just absolutely adorable, jisung decided.

sure, it sucked that minho hadn’t finished telling him what he had been wanting to say but g0d if this wasn’t worth it.

“baby~”, jisung pressed a kiss to minho’s cheek, making him giggled. “you’re so cute, kitten.”

even though his arms felt kinda sore, he reached up to pet minho’s ears again. he felt minho practically fall against him, the purring resuming from the others chest.

“hy’ngie~”  
jisung smiled at the other. minho calling him hyung made something light up in his chest. he already felt protective of the other, but this feeling made him want to never let go of the other.

minho looked so small clinging onto him, his head buried in his chest and hands tangled in his shirt. 

“hmm my pretty baby~”, he let his hand slide down from minho’s hair across his cheeks.  
he felt so grateful that minho finally was started to trust him. he wished he could do more for the other. it made him sick thinking about it; while minho hadn’t explicitly told him anything he wasn’t stupid. it was clear that something – or someone – made minho fear this kind of interaction; this kind of touch.

he thought back to the first time minho had let out his ears around him. the way the other had freaked out when he thought jisung was going to … he thought jisung was going to hurt him.

at the memory, jisung felt the need to throw up.  
in the moment he didn’t know how to process what had been going on in front of him, but the more he thought about it, the clearer it became.

someone had hurt minho. someone had hurt him and it terrified jisung.

a soft noise from minho disrupted his thoughts.

jisung felt tears build up in his eyes. looking at minho he didn’t want to imagine what horrible things must have happened for the other to even hide himself from his members. minho had been terrified when jisung had first seen him with his ears out.

in this moment, jisung selfishly wished he could talk to someone about this. maybe chan. the older knew about minho being a hybrid.  
but jisung knew this wasn’t his secret to share.  
and as much as it hurt him to think about it, it was minho who actually had had to live through it.

he hugged the other tighter, pressing his face into the others soft hair.  
“I love you so much, baby.”

the purring from minho’s chest grew louder.

“wanna nap for a bit?”.   
when minho didn’t answer, jisung decided that probably meant yes.   
“I’m here, yeah?”, he kept running his hand through the others hair, more to comfort himself by making sure minho was safe, trying to stop thinking about it all.

jisung felt unsure whether or not he should bring this up later on. he didn’t know if minho would remember this conversation at all, seeing how out of it the other seemed.

it was probably something that he should address but he didn’t want to pressure minho into talking about something he wasn’t comfortable sharing yet. 

jisung shifted both of them so they were lying down, instead of risking giving him or minho a sore neck the next day.   
minho’s soft soring against his chest soothed the tightness in jisungs chest. he let his eyes slip shut too, finally, letting the others breathing lull him to sleep.

\--

minho felt so warm. almost too warm, but he felt too comfortable to move.  
he felt two arms around him, pulling him into someone’s chest.

he felt small.  
he felt so small, and he felt protected. he pushed his face further into the other’s chest, inhaling his scent. 

soft giggles brought him to reality. he looked up at jisung, letting the other cup his face with his hands.   
a soft sigh left his lips. he’d never get over the warmth of the other’s touch.  
“sungie~”, his voice was still slurred, a little whiny. 

jisung felt his cheeks warm up. “hm baby?”

“hmmm~”. minho didn’t feel tired at all anymore, but the warm hands on his cheeks made his eyes slip shut again.

“kitten, you still sleepy?”, jisung giggled.   
“noo~”, his voice more whiny then he’d like to admit.

“wanna go eat something then?”

minho thought for a second. he really did NOT want to move even just an inch.  
jisung seemed to read his mind.  
“or I can just go get it real quick, hm?”

minho hummed in response, letting jisung shift around him to get out of bed. “hurry, hy’ng”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh yeah, basically i decided to just fully dive into the whole littlespace thing now. i read some other littlespace stories (as recommended by one of you guys, thanks for that :) ).
> 
> uh so yeah, minho calls jisung "hyung" when he's in his headspace, since their little-caregiver dynamic is starting to become more natural now and he's starting to actually feel comfortable letting himself go around jisung now


	22. Chapter 22

jisung passed the others on his way to the kitchen. chan must have seen him, because just as he was about to make his way back to his room, the older entered the kitchen. 

“is minho okay?”.  
jisung spun around with a yelp, not having noticed the other entering.

“uh yeah- we mostly just napped, the night on the couch couldn’t have been the most recharging sleep…”, he trailed off, trying not to think about – everything? 

“sungie, if there’s anything, you know you can tell me”.

jisung knew chan meant well. their leader always took everyones worries onto himself. but this wasn’t something jisung could share with him.  
“hyung- i.. cant tell you.”

chan smiled at him, “okay. just know you can always come to me.”

“I know, hyung. thank you”

jisung squeezed out of the kitchen, letting chan know he’d try to coax minho into eating something now.

\--

“baby~ I brought pancakes-“. jisung quickly shut himself up upon the sight he was met with.  
minho curled up in his bed wasn’t an unusually sight by now, but it still made his heart squeeze, his cheeks warming up.  
the other had his face buried in jisungs pillow, hugging in tight against his chest.  
his ears were still out, and he was purring so softly jisung hadn’t even noticed until a few seconds after entering the room.

maybe he could let minho sleep for just a little more.. the pancakes were already cold now anyways so it wouldn’t really make a difference.  
but he knew minho wouldn’t be able to fall asleep at all that evening if he kept sleeping through the whole afternoon.

he made his way to the bed, slightly poking the other just below his ribs.  
“baby, wake up~ I brought breakfa- uh lunch? I brought food.”

“hm sung?”. minho’s voice was heavy with sleep but the whiny, more childlike tone was gone from his voice.  
“wha’ time is it?”

“like 2 or something, so get your ass out of bed”.  
“shut up”.

as much as jisung was absolutely in love with minho in his headspace, he was happy to be able to joke around with him like this again.

“hm hyung, cranky much?”, he giggled, pulling the pillow away from the others face.

minho glared at him, slowly sitting up.  
“hey nasty, lets take a shower, we both stink.”

jisung laughed at that. “hmm sure, kitten, but lets eat first.”

he could clearly see minho’s cheeks burning at the pet name.  
jisung mostly only used pet names while minho was little, so this was still new to minho out of his headspace. “sungie~”, he whined slightly, hiding his face in his hands.

jisung softly stroked over his cheeks making minho eventually remove his hands from his face again, the by now faded purring returning.

“… huh, whats that sound-“, he looked up to jisung. the latter giggled, pressing his hand against minho’s chest, feeling the vabriation.”

“FUCK am I purring?!”

jisung couldn’t suppress his giggles. “calm down hyung”, he smiled, “it’s cute.”

this only made minho more embarrassed. and when the purring grew even louder, minho wanted to sink into the floor out of embarrassement. “I’m gonna pass out.”

“shit, for real?”, jisung’s eyes frantically searched his face for a hint of seriousness.

“no you dumbass.”  
“ass”.

jisung grinned. fuck, he had missed this.  
while minho obviously wasn’t in his headspace for most of the time, they hadn’t really had any time for just … talking? lazing around like this.

“sung, feed me.”

jisung scoffed, playfully poking the other in his side. “why, can my baby not feed himself?”

“shut up.”, minho’s voice was a little higher than usual, almost a little shrill.

“shush, hyung, I’m joking.” 

jisung did end up feeding minho, as much as the older protested. jisung made sure he felt comfortable, not wanting the other to actually feel genuinely embarrassed. 

“okay, nasty, we can shower now”.

jisung let minho shower first, using that time to pick out some comfortable clothes for both of them.

“matching sweaters, really?”

jisung grinned, “and you get the pink one”.

minho glared at him but jisung knew he didn’t mind at all.  
“you look cute in pink, is all.”

“shut it”. minho tried sounding serious but he was already pulling it over his head. and jisung could practically hear the smile in this voice.

“grumpy cat~” jisung sang-song, earning a glare from minho.

“wanna go to the others?”

“not really”.

jisung chuckled. “I physically cannot keep sleeping though.  
hmm wanna go for a walk?”

“sure.”

\--

being outside for the sole reason of being outside was refreshing.  
the only times minho had actually left the house lately had been to get to the studio. letting himself actually take in everything felt good.

jisung had led him to a park relatively near their dorm.  
while minho had been here before, it somehow felt new to him, maybe because for the first time he actually paid attention to the scenery.

jisung was walking slightly ahead of him, skipping along the path while every now and then looking back to minho to make sure he was still there.

it made minho giggle. the younger seemed so …. excited?  
and it was genuinly just so cute.

“hyung! omg look! let’s get ice cream”, jisung jumped around him, dragging him toward the ice café on their left.  
“hmm fine, you pay.”

jisung pouted at him but didn’t argue – he didn’t mind spoiling minho anyway.

“vanilla?”  
minho nodded.  
“hmm okay, wanna wait here or come in with me?”

minho decided to wait on the bench outside, not really feeling up to any social interaction with strangers at the moment.

\--

jisung sat down next to minho with both of their ice cream.

for some reason, jisung couldn’t take his eyes off the older. this was such a day-to-day situation. it wasn’t the first time he’d been out here with minho, but something made him feel unable to look away from him.

halfway through his ice cream, minho finally noticed the youngers eyes on him. he tilted his head slightly, half-glaring at him . “what?”

jisung smiled sheepishly. “you’re so pretty, hyung.”  
why tf did he say that-

minho half-choked on his own spit. “what?”, his voice shrill. “jisung!”

“sorry”, jisung sniggered, patting minho on the back to make sure the other didn’t actually suffocate.

minho fake pouted at him, not looking him in the eyes. jisung could see his ears growing slightly red as minho turned his head away from him.

“you are, though”.

“shut up”, minho mumbled, trying to hide his face away from the younger.

they sat there for a while longer before deciding to finally head back to their dorm. it was slowly starting to become cold and dark out.

“baby, wanna get dinner first? pretty sure none of the others made food yet, and I’m hungry~”.

minho shrugged, letting jisung lead him to a take-away restaurant.

\--

jisung had been right. when they got back to the dorm, they found the rest of the members lazing around on the couch together, chan and changbin both asleep – well needed sleep, that is. 

even though minho had slept late into noon he suddenly felt tired again.  
he led jisung to their room. he let the younger feed him again, enjoying the warmth spreading in his chest at the action.

being the second oldest, he had always felt the need to act like a hyung. to take care of the others, not having them take care of him.  
but with jisung recently taking care of him so much, he noticed how good it felt to let go of his responsibilities. to let someone pamper him. it made him feel protected, safe. 

“m tired”.

“I know baby. arms up”.  
“huh?”

jisung giggled. “I’ll help you out of your sweater, dummy.”

“i can do it myself, asshat”.

jisung smiled at him, “I know baby. c’mon now, arms up”.

sighing, minho complied, letting jisung pull the sweater over his head before putting on one of jisung’s oversized shirts.

jisung let him curl up in the covers of his (or now rather their) bed before cuddling up to him.  
“you know I love you, hm kitten”, jisung whispered, gently combing his hand through minho’s hair.

“hmm”. minho felt a little shy, and he was too tired to respond anyways, letting the warmth of jisungs body pressed up to him so closely soothe him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh exams are coming up and im getting so anxious over them hafoih i keep stressing myself out over having to study but i cant find the energy to actually do so oof
> 
> anyways  
> just kinda soft fluffy stuff lmao


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for not updating in a while,, school is killing me atm oof
> 
> CW: kinda mention of su1c1de, very shortly tho; also hate cr1mes but its also very brief and not based in reality (because hybrids and all)

the week passed quickly, nothing special really happened.  
jisung desperately wanted to talk with minho about the conversation (if you can really call it that) they’d had the week prior. but he didn’t know how to bring it up. 

he understood if minho didn’t want to tell him, but he also knew that not talking about it wasn’t doing the other any good.

that Saturday evening, when they were both already lazing in bed after another week full of dance practice, he decided he’d have to at least try to get minho to talk to him about it.

“lino... I- well, uh. I think we should talk”.  
minho perked up to look at him. “what- is everything okay?”

“uh yeah, well nothing’s wrong. i- I wanted to talk about you?”  
well shit, that sounds weird.  
“wait, no. uhm, that came out wrong.”

minho saw jisung fidget around nervously. 

“I wanted to talk about something you said last week? uh and also some stuff from before”.

minho sat up, facing him.

“you don’t have to say anything if you’re uncomfortable..”  
minho hummed, gesturing for him to continue.

“uhm, remember when I first found out about you, yk…”.  
minho nodded, thinking back to that day.

“you- it terrified me to… to see you freak out like that.  
why did you- why were you so scared to tell any of us?”

minho looked away, trying to think of what to say.  
he did trust jisung. he felt comfortable around the other, but he had never told anyone about this.  
he wasn’t sure where to even start.

“it- it wasn’t your fault. it’s not that I don’t trust you.”

jisung took minho’s hand into his own, trying to give the other some sense of comfort.

“I know. I’m not saying this to make you feel like you need to justify anything.”

minho hummed again. they sat in silence before minho spoke up again.

“it’s kinda hard for me to talk about.. I’ve never-“, he took a second to think, “told anyone? I never had to, I guess. it wasn’t like anyone ever cared enough to want to know.”

he questioned whether that already was too much to say as he saw jisungs expression grow more sad.  
the younger just nodded, letting him continue without interrupting.

“my mom was a hybrid, like me. and you know how people feel about us. most aren’t very accepting even now, so you can imagine how it was 10 years ago.”  
back then, minho hadn’t quite understood himself, but he could put together the pieces now that he was older.

“in the town we lived, the people were more conservative than in a lot of places. even for back then, that town was known for its unusually cruel treatment of hybrids. I guess we didn’t have enough money to move?”

minho couldn’t look at jisung. he felt a little nauseous talking about this.

“when I was ten, my mom got into an accident. uhm, a car accident? the official statement was that she had lost control of the wheel and died upon impact.”  
he felt almost numb talking about this. minho remembered the nights he spent crying himself to sleep thinking about this, but right now, it didn’t feel like he was telling something that actually happened to him. he felt almost disconnected the the story entirely.

he heard jisung gasp next to him. “I’m sorry-“

but minho shook his head in response. “it wasn’t an accident.”

“what?”

“I overheard my dad talking to the police. they had found evidence of it not having been an accident. hate crimes like this were common enough for them to have expected that, anyways.”  
he took a second to breathe. he felt his hands start to shake slightly, squeezing jisungs hand that was still wrapped around his own.  
“they didn’t want to look into it further because it would ruin our towns reputation even further.”

he saw jisungs face growing more and more pale. the younger opened his mouth to say something but seemingly decided against it.  
“I’m sorry. is that why-“. he quickly shut himself up again. jisung thought that that must have been the reason why minho had freaked out the way he did when jisung had found out, but it wasn’t really something he could just straight up ask the other.

but minho knew what the other was referring to.

“no, not really. losing her hurt. obviously. but it didn’t make me hate my own existence.” he gritted his teeth. he really shouldn’t be saying this. “it didn’t make me want to…” to stop existing? did he feel like that before … ? he didn’t really remember.

“my dad couldn’t handle losing her, though.”

he felt jisungs hand tremble in his own.

“a few days after the official statement was released my dad overdosed? uhm-“, minho didn’t know why he didn’t feel sad talking about this. it hurt so bad, but it felt unreal telling someone else.

feeling jisungs hand in his own help ground minho a bit.   
“I-”. he felt his eyes burning. suddenly the numbness faded away and he felt like someone just punched him in the gut. tears built up in his eyes even as he tried to suppress them.   
“uhm-“, he inhaled shakily. his voice trembled and he hated how vulnerable it made him feel.

jisung hesitated a second before putting his other hand on minho’s back, lightly stroking up and down. 

“we can talk more later, yeah?”.

minho stayed silent at first, before nodding, letting jisung pull him against his chest.  
he let out a muffled sob, clinging onto the other.

“sungie-“, minho didn’t know why he called out to the other when he was right here, cradling him in his arms already. but jisungs hum in response still help to make him feel grounded.  
“I’m here, baby. I’m here, okay?”

they sat there like that for a few minutes, minho pressed into jisung’s chest, sobs filling the room before they quieted down into sniffles.  
minho felt exhausted. his arms were shaking, so were his legs. once he unclenched his fingers from around jisungs shirt, he saw tremors running across them. 

jisung let minho grasp his hand harder, the youngers smaller hand squeezing his almost painfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh idk how i feel about this chapter--- i had like no time for writing so it's not very long nor good tbh


	24. Chapter 24

minho felt exhausted. he hadn’t even been able to tell jisung everything and he still felt mentally drained. he pressed his face into the youngers chest, letting his eyelids slip close as he listened to the others heartbeat. 

he was starting to regret telling jisung anything at all, but he knew that feeling would probably pass, only caused by the anxiety of having talked about this for the first time.

his stomach was forming painful knots even as he tried to distract himself from the feeling.

but as jisung hand found its way into his hair he felt his mind slip into a comfortable floaty daze.   
he let out a soft sigh, leaning into the touch. he heard jisung let out a soft chuckle and a muffled question that minho couldn’t quite catch.

when he didn’t respond, he felt jisung’s chest shake a little from laughter, a soft vibration of his voice against his ear.   
his eyes were still closed, and he felt himself slip deeper into darkness.

jisung felt minho grow limp against his chest but he never stopped running his hand through the others hair.

he hadn’t quite processed what had just happened. he felt a little nauseous at everything minho had just told him but his brain hadn’t quite accepted the information to be real just yet.

as stupid as it might sound, he was a little glad the older was asleep, because he really didn’t know how he was supposed to act after everything minho had opened up to him about.

he didnt know what to feel. what to think. so he just sat there, running his fingers across minho scalp while the others warm breath tickled his neck.

it was already pretty late and his stomach growled angrily at him out of hunger but he couldn’t be bothered to get up; he didn’t dare to move and risk waking minho when he could still see the dried tear tracks on his face, his eye bags glaring at jisung.

he, too, felt emotionally drained. he felt angry for minho when the elder seemed to not want to acknowledge how wronged he had been in the past. he knew there was more minho hadn’t told him, things he could vaguely put together from past conversations.   
he could only imagine how agonizing it must have been for minho to keep all this bottled up inside for so long.

a feeling swelled in his chest. looking at minho laying so vulnerably in his arms, who, just minutes ago had opened up to him about something he had never shared with anyone before made jisung feel some kind of way.

he felt grateful to minho for trusting him, for letting himself be so vulnerable in as he laid there, face smushed into jisungs chest, small noises leaving his mouth as he breathed.

jisung felt the painful need to protect minho.   
it hurt having to know that someone had already hurt him, someone jisung knew should have been there for minho; should have protected minho, but used their power to hurt him. that much jisung could gather, and it hurt.

his hand trembled as he continued to run it across minho’s scalp. he tried to focus on only minhos sleeping form before him instead of letting his mind sink into the aching anger and despair when he thought about all the pain the older must have gone through.

but minho still had trusted him so much. trusted him enough to open up.

it made jisung realize how strong minho truly must be.

no, minho didn’t need his protection, but jisung would offer it to him anyway.   
as strong as he knew minho was, he also knew the older needed someone to lean onto, and jisung would be that person if minho let him be.

he felt something close to pride swell in his chest as he watched the other twitch slightly in his sleep. 

it wasn’t too long after, that jisung, too, fell asleep, his hunger forgotten as he pressed minho closer. the feeling of the others warm body against his own was so familiar but it still held so much power over jisung, making his legs feel weak, that – if they weren’t both lying down – he was sure they’d give out underneath him.

minho managed to make him feel this way a lot.  
the older didn’t even have to do much.   
his smile made jisung feel like a blushing middle schooler talking to his first crush. minho’s laugh made jisung want to squeak like an overly excited teenager. 

whenever minho was in his headspace it made jisungs heart swell, his chest flooding with an emotion previously unknown to him.

jisung woke up a while before minho did.   
the others face was still pressed into his chest and jisung had to wonder how comfortable that could be for the other – the lack of oxygen and all. but as jisung tried to shift away a little to give the other some space to get more comfortable, minho unconsciously moved closer to him again, smushing his face into jisung neck.  
\- cats tend to search out the warmest spots to nuzzle into, jisung remembers reading, so maybe it’s the same for hybrids? –

minho’s breath tickled against the sensitive skin of his neck and jisung had to stop himself from squirming to get away.

he heard a soft whine coming from minho before the older stretched slightly and moved back to look around the room a little disoriented.

jisung smiled at the older. sleepy minho was so cute. minho was cute, but shit, sleepy minho was so cute. minho felt a little embarrassed by how easily minho could get him all flustered – the older wasn’t even doing anything, for f//cks sake.

“sungie, wha’ time s’it?”, minho asked, his voice a little rough from sleep – and lack of water to drink, fuck he just now realized how thirsty he was. 

“uhhh lemme check-“, jisung frantically patted his hand across the bed and the small table next to it for his phone, not remembering where he put it.  
“ah- holy shit! it’s already 12, how did we even sleep that long? we fell asleep at like, 10 yesterday.”

minho shrugged, stretches his arms above his head again, letting out a small yawn. “I could go right back to sleep”.  
he really did want to just lie back down, but jisung didn’t let him, shooing him out of bed, forcing him into yet another pink sweater and dragging him into the living room.

minho was at least glad that the younger didn’t mention their conversation from the night prior, not feeling up to thinking about it at the moment.

“damn sungie~”, minho playfully purred when the other gently picked him up and dropped him onto the couch. minho wanted to tease the younger a bit but his cheeks grew red before he could actually say it – ‘since when are you so strong? you’ve been working out, huh?’ – because, holy shit, jisung really had become stronger and-   
and it made minho feel a certain way.

it was different from when jisung would carry him around while he was in headspace.  
vastly different. because minho knew at those times it was completely platonic, jisung taking care of him when he was .. ‘little’.

but right now, minho wasn’t .. he was his ‘big’ self, so there was no reason for jisung to carry him around like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls school is so exhausting but instead of studying im writing this fjvsjhkjdc


End file.
